|"Vanity" by John William Waterhouse|
It's been 98% joy, but I have been a tiny bit troubled by an aspect of personal blogging. (Disclaimer: I tend to be a worrier; I am a thinker to the point of pain; I over-analyze, etc. etc. As I've written before, The opposite of my life's credo is probably, "Well, that's the way it is.")
My sticking point is all the personal photography. I don't mean the revelation of myself to my readers. That took about a day to get over, and you have been to a person nothing but kind, supportive and positive. And we are part of the Visible Us movement and we do want to be seen, heard and noticed. That is all good.
I think the niggling little worry is: the posing and the hair/makeup prep and the wondering "how I'll look" in the photos. I make internal jokes about it, and pretend I'm Madonna for the moment (I'm a little too seasoned to pretend I'm Lady Gaga, but I do love her flair). To get a genuine, non-real-estate-salesman smile, I sometimes think about ridiculous things - dogs wearing dresses! Austin Powers movies!
But I still do fret over the "lousy" shots and the bad hair days. I don't edit my photos except for brightness, sharpness and cropping. (I use paint.net, a pretty good free program). Maybe if I were a skilled photoshopper I could make every picture pleasing to my eye. But I don't want to go down that road.
I'm a middle aged woman, not a Harper's Bazaar model. I am happy with the way I look. Blogging has caused me to pay a lot of attention to my face/hair, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I love sharing outfits, ideas, fashion philosophies, life philosophies, shopping strategies. I am just a little bit worried about that extra bit of stress I give myself at photo-shoot time.
If I crop my head out, I eliminate the problem. I almost always like the way my body looks with clothes fitted over it. But then I feel a little cowardly. Sigh. I would love to hear from you, regardless of whether you have shared this little tic. Do you tweak photos? Leave out the head (sounds gruesome, huh?). Say damn-it-all and post yourself in all your glory?