Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What’s Your Dreaded Wardrobe Malfunction?

Did that phrase ("wardrobe malfunction") originate at the 2004 Superbowl? I will have to perform fashion due diligence to find out, but in any case, it's caught on! Very few of us will have the opportunity to experience Janet Jackson's degree of malfunction, but in an imperfect world, sartorial stuff does happen.

Here are some of my dreaded W. M.'s, taken from my actual daily life:
  • Wayward bra straps. Everything is nice and sleek as I leave the house, but upon arrival at work, the straps are peeking out, and pretty much stay that way. Some marvelous dresses and blouses have bra strap holders that snap your strap into place. Should be required.

Well, I haven't gone this far . . .

  • Tights that creep down the leg as the day goes on. I have simply removed these offenders at lunch, and gone bare-legged on occasion. These give me a very insecure feeling.
  • Singing shoes. You have to have a sense of humor if your shoes squeak a happy tune as you walk the halls. Sometimes this goes away with repeated wearings, but I haven't found a cure yet. Any ideas?

And these aren't necessarily singing shoes, but how cute is Pete?

  • Surprise see-through skirts. It looks fine and modest in the morning, at home. Suddenly, the Seven-Eleven clerk is giving me the eye, and I notice I'm fairly sheer below the waist. Slips are the cure! But I forget sometimes.

Intentionally sheer, and very chic -- but not for work  : >

  • Won't-stay-tucked-in shirts. Arrgggh. I don't like to tuck-in six times an hour. This kind of shirt is fine if your job requires you to sit (or lie) perfectly still for 6 hours. I usually opt for soft knits and tees, slightly on the long side.
  • The ultimate: skirt tucked into tights while exiting the restroom! I don't have to tell my story on this one, do I?

Please tell me you've had a few W. M.'s yourselves? Can you add to the list? Have you been asked to perform at the Superbowl Halftime Show?

26 comments:

  1. Static cling and runs in hose!!!  I hate both of those!!!  Of course, when working out the possibility of a "nipple slip" leaves me in a cold sweat!  I swear, if I ever accidentally exposed myself somewhere, they'd never see me there again!!!  If it were to be at the gym, I'd have to cancel my membership!!  Hugs!  ~Serene

    ReplyDelete
  2. On occasion....( ! )...one of the lifts has come off of my heel, with no warning!  Halfway through the day you realize your shoes are uneven and one shoe makes a loud clicking noise while the other is silent.  I have yet to find a way to remedy this myself; the shoes just have to go to the shoemaker.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny list. I think I have experienced all of these at one time or another. The tucking in the shirt thing happens all the darn time to me with my long waist. 

    I would add: 
    ~ toilet paper stuck to shoe
    ~ hem falling out of your pants and you are no where near home (happened to me last week)
    ~ underpants that show through your slacks 
    ~ pants/jeans that stretch out in the knees after you've sat for a while, then bulge out when you stand. 
    ~ White cloth napkin lint on your black wool pants. That drives me crazy! 

    ReplyDelete
  4. I used to work for the county and on a very windy day, not thinking, I wore a circle skirt. Well, needless to say as I am walking into the courthouse the wind whips my skirt up over my head. Of course, the waiting room and all the office windows were right there. Thankfully I had on tights but still got alot of grins when I walked in. Funny stuff now but at the time you're thinking, why me Lord? lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pam@Over50feeling40December 13, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    I could write my biography around wardrobe malfunctions through the years...I cringe now that I think about it!  Of course, my favorite was a slip falling from underneath my dress on a date as a teenager....good times!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Some of my skirts just love to work themselves around my body like a corkscrew while I'm walking so I end up with the back slit or kick pleat somewhere in front. I never seem to notice this while it's happening, only when I stop to talk to someone, or get somewhere it would be completely inappropriate to grab one's skirt and torque it back into place. I'm always left wondering "how long have I been walking around looking like a crazy lady with her skirt on backwards?" and "do I walk like Quasimodo?" I have no Idea what causes my skirts to travel like this.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Full skirts that blow up over your head in the wind on a main street in Boston.  yup,  happened to me at a red light.  ew boy...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mine is my zipper down on my pants. I have had this happen and NO ONE told me. It often happened when my pants had a zipper, a button, and a slide closure. It was like I could do 2 out of 3, but was always forgetting one.
    As to the squeaking shoes, I read that putting baby powder inside them will help with that.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Patti! So good but although I suffer all of those, the two that make me cringe are:
    Bra through shirt (Where did THAT sheerness come from and btw, my eyes are up here....)
    Emergency hem with masking tape ends up as a design detail on your shoes..... and a visible one while your hem has fallen..... Bah bow!!!!
    So good!

    ReplyDelete
  10. My main wardrobe malfunction is the Long John Silver where a tiny heel has fallen off or a nail from one heel clacks one-leggedly on the floor. Shiver me timbers, when is the eye patch cycling back around on the wheel of fashion?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hahah, this made me giggle, I can relate to most!

    ReplyDelete
  12. My wardrobe failure was a rip in my pantyhose.  How it came to be:  I was so proud of being this chic 20 year old walking past a group of teen girls...I started down the stairs and...fell.  I ended at the bottom with my pantyhose ripped showing bloodied knees and all the girls I had strutted past kindly helped me up and dusted me off.  Pride certainly went before that fall.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 14, 2011 at 8:00 AM

    Ah, I am blushing for you now, Darlene  : >

    ReplyDelete
  14. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 14, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    LOL @ Quasimodo reference! This happens to me too.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 14, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    I'll try the powder, thanks Debbi!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 14, 2011 at 8:02 AM

    Bring the patch back, Danielle!  : >

    ReplyDelete
  17. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 14, 2011 at 8:02 AM

    Ouch and ouch.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ha ha! The worst wardrobe malfunction for me was that I had toilet paper hanging from the back of my skirt. So embarrassing!  Heather

    ReplyDelete
  19. Not too long ago I wore a shirt inside out to a client of mine (who is always top chic). They never said anything and I only found out in the elevator after the meeting..... 

    ReplyDelete
  20. Panty line... I never seem to notice it until I get to work. I have taken them off and gone commando the rest of the day before.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My number one W.M. only appeared with the advent of low-waisted jeans (and slacks in general). They slip down during the day, and although I know it's happening, I'm torn between whether I want to look like a dork yanking up my pants repeatedly or a slob with my waistband dropped to mid-butt. Belts don't help much, they just add weight to assist in the gravitational pull on the pants. I never had this problem when waistbands actually went around the waist. 

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yes, it works!  I can attest to this!  (Thought it may depend on the source of the squeak).

    ReplyDelete
  23. I don't think I've ever had a really bad WM, oddly enough!  I greatly fear the see-through clothing one, though, because apparently it can be surprisingly hard to predict which fabrics will be transparent in certain kinds of lighting.  Oh, and Patti, you'll appreciate this one -- I clip my hair as it's drying, and wear it that way on the drive in to work.  I've come THIS close to getting out of the car and walking into work with the clips still in!

    ReplyDelete
  24. hehe...very funny post. I don't get the exposed bra straps too. Unless they have diamonds on them that need to show off. 

    mongsmythriftycloset.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Patti_NotDeadYetStyleDecember 15, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    Oh yes - I have often walked into the coffee shop with clips aboard, but I haven't made it to the office . . . yet.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My favorite is when I leave the house in the morning wearing what I think are black tights, but turn out to be dark purple or brown, and of course they look completely silly with what I'm wearing!

    ReplyDelete