I like to follow many rules; they make life flow smoothly and reduce chaos, e.g.: drive on the right side of the road, show up for work on time, and never touch the Queen.
But there are rules (guidelines at least) that show up in nearly every list of fashion tips for Women of a Certain Age. Many of them are terrific, and others I just can't help breaking, with gusto. Please note, I'm only speaking for myself, not judging these rules per se. Here are some of my fashion acts of everyday rebellion:
- Get a professional bra fitting and invest in great bras. Nope, tried it, and I don't need to. I enjoy wearing camis with built-in bras, or stretchy little bras from GAP. I wear sturdy fitness bras for my workouts, but I can't wait to take them off when I'm done.
- Along the same lines: don't wear those Grandma panties, try some sleek thongs. Arggghh. While not grandma-style, my personal garments are, well, normal-sized and they don't have an agenda to invade my body parts.
- Own a crisp white shirt. I have tried this too. I have not yet (at 56!) found a truly comfortable, flattering, easy-care white shirt. They're just not for me. Give me a nice, heavyweight white cotton or silk tee, with an open neckline.
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| It's classic and lovely, but not for me. Nordstroms. |
- Here comes some heresy: Own a trench. Again, I have tried. I have a very nice one hanging in my coat closet right now, classic tan. But I have never worn it. It's just not me -- too much fabric, perhaps, or "too classic" for my personal style.
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| I'd wear a denim jacket instead, for casual. Nordstroms, on sale. |
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| Or a flowy open jacket, for office/dressy occasions. Also Nordy's and on sale. |
- Shapewear is a must. OK, here I know I am probably too rebellious. I recognize the nice smooth lines created by Spanx, et al. I just feel horrible all pressed in like that, and I reach for a looser fitting piece of clothing. I may change my mind about this, but for now, I feel freeeee.
I'd love to hear from you! Are you an habitual rule-breaker? Do you feel a little rebellious when you wear white after Labor Day? No wrong answers, of course, we all want to be comfortable in our own skin.
very nice post Patti!! I so agree wirh Grandma panties 'rule'! I am no gonna floss with a thing just 'cause!!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAlthough a white button down is my go-to shirt when I am in doubt:-)
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maybe bra fitting is meant for women above a C cup and spandex for women with, as we say in Italy, life savers around their waists, but with a slim figure like yours you can happily wear whatever you like and ignore the rules...alas women like me who are above a 46 size (US 12 or 14 I guess) have to "compress" our stuff with spandex like garments and wear "classic" clothes
ReplyDeletePatti, great post. I'll share my take on these, at age 47:
ReplyDeleteI am an E cup, and getting a professional fitting and expensive bras was definitely worth it to me. I haven't been able to even look at a "shelf" cami since I was in high school.
Also, I like comfortable underwear. I tend toward brightly colored bikini style coolmax undies that you can get at outerwear stores. They feel less like granny panties but are SO comfy.
I do own a crisp white shirt, and think there are times when nothing else will do. That being said, I'm saving up to buy one from one of those places that cater to large-busted women, because honestly, button down shirts are never comfy for me.
Own a trench -- again, not flattering on a large bust. So I don't.
Shapewear -- I'm with you on this. Unless I'm wearing a special dress for a special occasion, life is too short to compress myself. I lift weights 2x week and run 4x week to try to avoid the need for Spanx, but I do admit there are times when it makes the crucial difference in a perfect fit.
Thanks for letting me share!
I agree about breaking the rule on bra fitting, although I have had it done. I wear two breast prosthesis, so can be whatever size I wish. I also am not into thongs, or other body invading garments. I have a crisp white blouse, but it does not get that much wear.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT get the idea that we should have a trench coat - I do not work outside the home (retired and age 71) - I do not see a lot of trench coats anymore.
Rules are meant to be broken, I think. I did not live this long to go along with everyone else's idea of what I should wear - but I do read the fashion blogs!!
Peg
that kitten is SO cute (love calicos!)
ReplyDeleteWell rule #1--I gotta have the right hydraulics to hoist the gals out of my lap--that is a must!!
#2--Thongs--eeeeewww. I like nice cotton panties in bright colors and prints. not exciting but for day to day where. Not saying I don't have sexy skimpies for the bedroom...lol
#3-- I finally found a white blouse I like--it has these textural "stripes" and I will be heartbroken when it's too big. I probably won't replacement as I'm not a white top kinda gal.
#4--hate trenches--I guess I'm still traumitized from the bright blue fake crinkled patent leather one my mom brought me in middle school and made me wear!
#5--Spanx--nice in theory but I'm having hot flashes and just can't imagine sweating under an ace bandage thing!
My number one rule I never break:: Wear what I WANT and LIKE and who cares whether the fashion police are gonna arrest me!
I am SO with you on the crisp white shirt thing! Just not for me, either. And don't get me started about thongs. I'm torn on the trench. At first blush, it seems like something that I wouldn't go for -- for similar reasons to those you've stated. But then, I just keep seeing them on fabulously stylish, pulled-together women! I find myself yearning for one even though I know it might not be right for me. (Good thing they're too expensive to be an impulse buy!)
ReplyDeleteThanks for being honest!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure, a lot of women can't get with those rules, because they were produced by somebody who lives in city, works in creative environment, and don't have any kids.
I'm not sure about rules. I wear granny panties. But I try to avoid big elastic. And I've found if they fit well, they don't show. Also, no white pants or tight pants. That helps. And with a very large bust, a good bra helps too. But a white shirt-my coloring looks awful in white. Too bad about that. And the trench coat-like you, I think it's more than I want to fool with. Lastly shapewear-I have a shape that can't be helped by shapewear. I also won't even wear panty hose and I wouldn't want restrictive clothing on any other part of me either. You certainly don't need shapewear. I think it might only be needed if your clothes are too tight.
ReplyDeleteStyle happens when we make our own rules! :-D Personally, getting a bra fitting was one of the best investments of time for me, but my girls need all of the gravity-defying help they can get. I'm with ya on the shapewear and the thong underwear. Comfort is non-negotiable!! And LOLcats still make me smile.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that these "rules" are created for those that don't have as much confidence in dressing as others. In addition to rules based on age, there are also rules based on size. I don't follow any of them. I wear what I like and everyone else can deal with it!
ReplyDeleteI love this flowy open jacket. It´s comfy and respectable enough for work. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun post! I agree with some of these. But, I think its different based on body shape and just general preferences. I've worn "thongs" for years and years now, and honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit. I feel weird when I wear regular undies! For the record, you have to wear the right size - they aren't mean to um, ride up. RE: bras - oh, how I wish I could wear a cami. Alas, after my twins, I'm a DD so a professionally fitted bra is an absolute must.
ReplyDeleteI hate button up shirts! And trench coats make me feel like I'm in the military. Shapewear? Life is too short!!!
I love this entire post, including the kitteh. I behave myself pretty well until someone tells me there's a rule for something, and then I develop a compulsion to break the rule. Seems to happen in all areas of my life, but certainly my dress is the most visible example. I'm with you on most of your examples. I have trouble with white shirts because I just can't resist putting on prints and bright colors every day. Spanx gives me a stomachache just thinking about it, I can't wear that tight stuff any more than I could pantyhose back in the day. I am strongly pro-granny panty, because they give a smooth line under dresses and high-waist pants, and I never "got" the thong concept.
ReplyDeleteI wear horizontal stripes and colors that I love even if they don't complement my skin, my shoes tend to lean more toward comfort than the latest style, and often I wear NO accessories (gasp!). Whether I'm a rebel, or just unaware of all the rules that are out there, I guess it doesn't matter. I just keep doing what I do.
I have a drawerfull of Spandx shapeware that is almost on it's way to the VietVetsThrift store. I always think it'll be good but then it's not comfortable and off it goes. A decent slip and clothing that's the right size is better for me.
ReplyDeletetesting whitelist
ReplyDeleteHi Patti!
ReplyDeleteI was reading the rules and i never followed these rules
I could never find a comfortable white shirt, could never find a trench, not my style anyway. I hate thongs i wear the boyish cut so much better!
I always buy the unexpected item and i will make it work, you should see what i got today!
Take care lovely Patti
Ariane xxxx
I agree with almost everything you listed. In particulary, button downs, particularly white ones, are totally unflattering to me & I'm never comfortable in them though I like how they look on others. I do own a trench coat (3/4 length) & wear it often.
ReplyDeleteRegarding bras, I finally found an online source that sorts them by profile (shallow, full, regular) - I wear a mastectomy bra for a prosthesis. I know I'm a 'shallow' profile and never have any problems getting the right fit there. Many of the less expensive ones in stores are full or regular profile & they never fit quite right since I need a full coverage cup.
The one rule I keep trying to follow is the 'LBD' but am apparently too picky about how many different roles it should play in my wardrobe - & it's really hard to find a flattering one with sleeves. I did finally find one that's semi-ok but have yet to wear it. I do have a long (midi) tank-style that I wear in warmer weather & enjoy.
I like to check out the rules but always end up with clothes outside the rules or 'with a twist'. And after recently reading yet another book on stylish dressing, it seems to me the advice is to: pay attention to proportions & how things fit & define your shape, don't leave the house in really casual clothes, and pay some attention to accessories.
I like your style.
ReplyDeletehttp://paquetevistasbien.blogspot.com
I am definitely a habitual rule breaker. I love rule number one and two. I am not not a fan of thongs, I would rather be comfortable. Also ,my chest is not well endowed - a trait I like, so I hate underwire- it does nothing for me and is uncomfortable. I love this post, it has everybody chatting!
ReplyDeleteI love wearing flowy jackets. I don't like the rule that petites can't wear big clothes because I like them....
ReplyDeleteYeah, I break rules! All the time! But think about it, if we all followed the rules then no one would have any personal style of their own. We would all look the same. I say rules were made for breaking! :D Well, in regards to fashion I guess! Lol!
ReplyDeleteBras: I don't think I need a professional fitting. I can tell if a bra doesn't fit. But expensive? Yes. I love my expensive bras, so much better than the cheaper ones I used to wear.
ReplyDeleteGrandma panties vs. thong: I can't bring myself to wear a thong. IMO, there's nothing "sleek" about those things. I usually wear bikini style, but I'm seriously considering some granny panties (a.k.a. full briefs) because I think the high waist covering my tummy might actually look more flattering on me.
Crisp white shirt: I look awful in "crisp", and darks are better at balancing out my figure on top. But I'm currently on the hunt for a white silk blouse (not shirt) to wear under sweaters or jackets.
Trench: I finally found one that works for me, but it took several months and at least a couple of store returns. The traditional style didn't work for me. I ended up with a shapely modern one, shorter and without epaulets.
Shapewear: Spanx have never worked for me. For some reason they don't stay in place very well on me, so they're uncomfortable. But if I could find an old-fashioned girdle, I'd consider wearing it. But certainly not every day! We're talking special occasions in a special dress, for instance.
I'm in your camp on every one of these rules!
ReplyDeletePatti this was another great read from you...I can't for the life of me believe you are 56. You get the bomb diggity award from me personally. I am eventually going to have a link up called the bomb diggity....maybe. Anyway, you are so fortunate about the bra situ. I strongly dislike them myself. The white shirt never closes properly for me and I can't stand being squeezed by spanx or tight stocking either. I love the freedom of loose clothing too. So, I pretty much love this post and that kitten is killing me with his beauty. I love cats. Love them. I break rules about hair, you don't have to cut it at 40. I will be 45 in May. Have a great night. dawn xo
ReplyDeleteI just love kimono style jackets!
ReplyDeleteI've stumbled across a number of these rules, but since my interest in fashion has come over me fairly late in life, I've escaped most of them. I'm more interested in subconcious, unwritten rules that I've picked up in my lifetime...most of which I can't recall the origins of. Lately, I've been working on breaking those rules (Pink and orange, shirt tails out, white after labor day). Most of them are dumb, dumb, dumb.
ReplyDeleteAfterthought: white blouses ARE high maintenance.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm with you on a bunch of those! I wore sport bras and camis exclusively, up until a couple of years ago -- and then thanks to menopause, I grew ... I also can't wear trenches. Way too much material and buttons and lapels and collars -- I just feel like I am drowning.
ReplyDelete