Not Dead Yet Style

Body Image Warrier Week: Fit and Feminist

2012-02-28T08:40:00.001-05:00

I'm honored today to participate in Body Image Warrior Week. This idea was born in Sally McGraw's (Already Pretty blog) brain, to coincide with National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. The participants are bloggers who are passionate about uplifting women's views of our physical selves.

We are spreading the good word about loving our bodies, by featuring works by other "warriors" (Sally is inviting many more women to participate, just go here and join in, please!). I chose the following glorious essay by Caitlin Constantine, of the blog Fit and Feminist.

Caitlin is a writer, editor, zinester, blogger and athlete based out of Clearwater, Fla. She writes with the goal of pushing back against a culture that defines femininity as weakness and that seeks to deny women their physical power. Her writing has appeared in Bitch and Creative Loafing.

The Danger of A Single Ideal Body

Recently, I came across a blog post by a personal trainer in which she explored the one of my least favorite terms as applied to women’s bodies – the word “bulky.” Any weight-training woman is familiar with this term, as it is often the first thing other women will say as their reason for refusing to lift weights. The idea is that lifting weights will lead to the development of big muscles, and the development of big muscles means a woman will no longer be beautiful and will instead be manly, unattractive, scary and doomed to a sex-free, love-free life.

The comments on the blog post illustrated this line of thought clearly, as woman after woman expressed dismay that she had taken up heavy lifting and was horrified to see that her body had developed muscles. Some even clearly articulated their belief that in doing so, they had crossed a very bright line in which women were meant to be weaker and protected by the men they loved.

The women had set out in pursuit of the slender, compact body most often displayed by female celebrities, and instead they found themselves becoming muscular. It didn’t matter that they were also stronger and that they were most likely healthier, with tougher bones and a stronger heart. What mattered was that they were bigger.

As I read through those comments, I reflected on a TED talk given by writer Chimamanda Adichie in which she spoke about the “danger of the single story.” She described growing up in Nigeria and yet writing stories in which her blonde-haired, blue-eyed characters ate apples and played in snow. Every book she had read was written by British authors about British life, and as a result she hadn’t realized it was possible to write books about her own life. She thought the only way to be worthy of literature was to be a foreigner.

I thought about her words and I realized that we as a culture had accepted the single story of the “ideal body” so thoroughly that no room remained for alternate definitions of female beauty. Take the comments on the aforementioned blog post. The “ideal female body” – a slim figure with breasts that aren’t too big and thighs that don’t touch and a butt that isn’t too flat and nothing that jiggles too much – is desired with such single-mindedness that the non-cosmetic benefits of weight training are dismissed without a second thought.

I use the example of women and muscles because that is what I, as an athletic woman who lifts weights, am most familiar with. However, the story of the single ideal body manifests itself in breast augmentation and pumping parties, in gimmicky diets and weight-loss gadgets bought on installment plans, in firming creams and treatments meant to zap cellulite into non-existence. Fortunes are spent and made in pursuit of the “ideal body,” and yet the only thing that has happened is that the ideal has become even more unattainable than ever before.

It’s not hard to see how this happened, either. Look at our culture, at the bodies represented on television and in magazines and in movies and in advertising. Just as Adichie only thought she could write stories about white children in snowy climates, we as a culture have trouble envisioning a standard of beauty that is not tall, thin, able-bodied and European. Even when we do embrace someone who does not fit that standard, we tend to be very self-congratulatory about it, thus undoing whatever progress was gained by reducing that person into little more than a symbol of our open-mindedness.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of a world in which the only people who are considered beautiful have a specific body type, a specific kind of hair, a specific tone of skin, a specific shape of face. I find such a world inhumane and cruel, bordering on insane. Plus, as an aesthete who revels in beauty and sensation, I also find it dreadfully boring.

Consider the natural world, with all of its abundance of living things. Think about flowers. In my neighborhood in Florida, I can count the following: birds of paradise, hydrangea, plumeria, magnolia, jacaranda, orchids, Confederate jasmine, black-eyed Susans, coreopsis, spider lilies and dozens more whose names I don’t know.

Few of us would look at all of these flowers and say that, for instance, orchids are the only beautiful ones. Sure, we might have a preference, but most of us would not take our preferences to mean that all other flowers are ugly, and that we ought to rip rosebushes and tulip bulbs out of the ground so they can be replaced with even more orchids.

Yet this is what we do with our bodies – we say that all bodies that do not fit that single ideal are ugly, and that all bodies must fit that single ideal to be worthy of respect and care and affection. We say that if you cannot force yourself to fit that ideal, then you must hide yourself behind shapeless clothing and maybe even consider never leaving your house because you are too revolting to be seen.

How is it that we can so easily recognize beauty in all of its millions of manifestations in plants and animals, yet our definitions narrow radically when it comes to human beings? Why do we value diversity in all things but scorn it in ourselves?

It’s clear to me that the expectation that our bodies must be a certain way to be feminine and beautiful is an artificial one, one that is informed almost entirely by the culture in which we are raised. The bad news is that it is a powerful expectation, filled with privileges for those who conform and punishment for those who do not.

The good news is that we can resist it. We can resist by refusing to hate our bodies for the way they look. We can resist by catching ourselves when we think harshly about other people’s appearances. We can resist by refusing to judge other people based on their bodies. We can resist by calling out those who make those kinds of moral judgments about other people. We can resist by refusing to support media outlets who uphold such narrow beauty standards.

We need a radical redefinition of what it means to be beautiful in this society. We need to pry open the definition so it includes all bodies, whether they are tall or short or average or slender or fat or muscular or disabled. Enough with this idea that beauty must somehow be exclusionary, like it is this finite quality that loses its potency as more people gain access to it. Such a view of beauty is blind to the core, irreducible truth about us, which is that our existence is nothing short of a miracle.

We do not blight the world with our cellulite, nor do we somehow diminish it through our sagging flesh. The natural order is not upended by our muscles, nor does the universe gasp in horror when it sees our bellies. We are just as much a part of the brilliant multiplicity of the universe as the flowers and the birds and the stars in the sky. We are beautiful because we exist. We are beautiful because we are.

-Caitlin Constantine

Please check out these other blogs, to read more terrific essays about positive body-talk. Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Already Pretty
The Beheld
Decoding Dress
Dress with Courage
Eat the Damn Cake
Fit and Feminist
Medicinal Marzipan
Not Dead Yet Style
Rosie Molinary
Virginia Sole-Smith
Weightless

Visible Monday #35: Leather Mini Skirt?!

2012-02-26T17:00:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #35! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

Blogging has now taken me over the final frontiers: I wore a leather miniskirt. OK, not to the office, but on a date with my husband. This cool skirt was purchased from Serene's (The Elegant Bohemian) eBay store. It feels wonderful, and as Serene pointed out, never needs ironing! It has a flattering, modified pencil shape. I know I'd wear it more if it were two inches longer. Suggestions?

I added a flowy top, tights and booties. I stayed all-neutral, although I could have added a colorful bangle or gone with a bright shoe. Next time.

Skirt: The Elegant Bohemian; Blouse: no label!; Shoes: Tsubo

The pointing cat foot says Yes! Wear a Leather Mini Skirt!

Now, I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Don't Do What I Did Today

2012-02-25T12:10:00.000-05:00

Image via Jezebel (good article too)

It's a leisurely Saturday morning. I am sipping delicious 7-Eleven coffee and reading the NY Times online. My husband says, let's take a quick look at the Estate Sale up the street. It's at a charming little cottage that's on the market for about the same price as ours, so we've wanted to see the home, too.

Who's going to see me? I toss a long gray sweatshirt skirt over my gym shorts. I squish a knit hat over my morning-hair, and throw on an oversize jean jacket. White gym socks and workout sneakers complete the look.

The cottage is charming, well worth viewing. We decide to pop into the Post Office to pick up a package. Not only is the handsome clerk on duty today, but an attractive 40-something woman comes in behind me. She's wearing a denim skirt and embroidered denim jacket, a couple of colorful necklaces, open sandals, and great red lipstick. I die.

Well, not really die. I start a conversation with her about how terrific she looks, and she says she dresses up every day, "just because". We chat about what a great idea that is, and she very kindly compliments my hat. I invite her to check out this blog, because she is most definitely a fabulous over-40 woman.

Lesson for me: take an extra five minutes to put on jeans, proper shoes, a splash of lipstick and a jacket from this decade when going about the neighborhood! Do it for the children!

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday February 27th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Shades of Gray and a Sunny Feeling

2012-02-23T19:18:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday! I felt very black-and-white-and-gray today. Soothing and neutral for whatever the day brings. Muted colors and neutrals do suit my pale coloration and low-contrast hair and skin. So I am always comfortable in pieces like these.

The dress is a thrifted find, a slinky wrap, vintage probably 80's. I tucked the collar inside, because I don't care for big lapels. I topped it with a gray cropped jacket by BCBG MaxAzria that I've had for years, and added thrifted black boots.

Before I became a little more style-conscious, I would have left off the jacket and worn plain black pumps. My adventurous-ness has increased, and with it, my joy in dressing -- even in all-neutrals!

Are you having more fun with your wardrobe since you started reading and/or writing fashion blogs?

The Rules, I Breaks Them

2012-02-22T10:45:00.000-05:00

Apologies for the LOL-cat talk, but I still find those cats irresistible.

I like to follow many rules; they make life flow smoothly and reduce chaos, e.g.: drive on the right side of the road, show up for work on time, and never touch the Queen.

But there are rules (guidelines at least) that show up in nearly every list of fashion tips for Women of a Certain Age. Many of them are terrific, and others I just can't help breaking, with gusto. Please note, I'm only speaking for myself, not judging these rules per se. Here are some of my fashion acts of everyday rebellion:

Get a professional bra fitting and invest in great bras. Nope, tried it, and I don't need to. I enjoy wearing camis with built-in bras, or stretchy little bras from GAP. I wear sturdy fitness bras for my workouts, but I can't wait to take them off when I'm done.
Along the same lines: don't wear those Grandma panties, try some sleek thongs. Arggghh. While not grandma-style, my personal garments are, well, normal-sized and they don't have an agenda to invade my body parts.
Own a crisp white shirt. I have tried this too. I have not yet (at 56!) found a truly comfortable, flattering, easy-care white shirt. They're just not for me. Give me a nice, heavyweight white cotton or silk tee, with an open neckline.

It's classic and lovely, but not for me. Nordstroms.

Here comes some heresy: Own a trench. Again, I have tried. I have a very nice one hanging in my coat closet right now, classic tan. But I have never worn it. It's just not me -- too much fabric, perhaps, or "too classic" for my personal style.


I'd wear a denim jacket instead, for casual. Nordstroms, on sale.

Or a flowy open jacket, for office/dressy occasions. Also Nordy's and on sale.

Shapewear is a must. OK, here I know I am probably too rebellious. I recognize the nice smooth lines created by Spanx, et al. I just feel horrible all pressed in like that, and I reach for a looser fitting piece of clothing. I may change my mind about this, but for now, I feel freeeee.

I'd love to hear from you! Are you an habitual rule-breaker? Do you feel a little rebellious when you wear white after Labor Day? No wrong answers, of course, we all want to be comfortable in our own skin.

Visible Monday #34: The Scoop on eShakti, and Savings for You!

2012-02-19T17:10:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #34! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I was approached by eShakti to review one of their items, and I chose this pretty Embellished Florals Flared skirt. They sent it to me at no cost and asked for my opinions. These are my opinions, even though the skirt was a gift.

This online store offers to customize clothing for you for a minimal charge of $7! I did not take advantage of that service, as I'm a fairly standard size, and this skirt is only fitted at the waist. But I may order some "custom" fits in the future.

The skirt was a little wrinkled out of the bag, but I just spritzed it with water and tossed it in the dryer for a few minutes. It came out beautifully. The fit is great, and the length is just right for me. I like the high waist and the belt loops. My only personal regret is that I feel a little limited in how to style it; I am not sure what other tops would complement the blue and violet flowers. I'm open to suggestions!

I find the quality good for the price, and the skirt is washable, so I am a happy reviewer. If you'd like to try one of eShakti's pieces, either ready-to-wear or customized, they are offering a $20 gift certificate off any purchase, to new buyers. You just have to register, and be a US resident (sorry, non-US-ers).

Tee: Old Navy, Shoes: Naturalizer. The shoes bore me though, and I
plan to re-donate them. Blue suede booties would've rocked this outfit : >

What other tops could one wear with this skirt?

Here are some of my picks for using the $20 discount:

Gold Buttoned Pencil Skirt, $44.95 before Gift Certificate. I love the
simple shape and the fitted waist.

Straw Ring Tote, $49.95 before Gift Certificate. This would add some
zest to my summer looks.

Swanning Around Blouse, $49.95 before Gift Certificate. Check out
this blouse on the model at the eShakti site - it's so feminine.

Now, I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Shopping For the Here and Now

2012-02-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Do you ever shop for the "near future?" You know, for when I "lose a little", or "firm up"? I prefer not to buy clothing this way.

Some fashion experts advise keeping a coveted item in a different size, hanging in a prominent place in your closet. This is a motivator, they say, to meet your body-change goals. Perhaps this does work, as a real-life visualization of where you'd like to be.

I don't like to buy or own clothing that might fit some future me. I like to shop in the here and now, and take home something I can't wait to put on! In fact, that's one of my favorite guidelines for buying an item: "Do I want to wear it right way?" If yes, it's probably going in the basket. If it's too tight, I don't really want it in my closet.

But I am always curious about other women's motivators: do you shop for now, or for a little bit later?

Image via Deviant Art

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday February 20th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Casual and Stripe-y

2012-02-16T19:38:00.000-05:00

This was not a look for the office. It's an experiment at jeans-substitution for a day out and about in our small city. During our mild winter, we have a lot of leeway for non-jeans casual wear!

I do love a stripe, and this long sleeve tee combines two of my favorite colors. And I like a slim-fitting top when I wear a full skirt. This one's from Tommy Hilfiger, thrifted for just a few dollars at the Daily Bread Thrift Store. I really appreciate what they do for our community, feeding the hungry and providing shelter for the homeless when they can.

I added my leggings for the cooler temps, but I decided to forgo boots/booties for one day. I went with my Ralph Lauren sparkly flats, and felt pretty darn good. I do wonder if the look is a wee bit too young for me, but I did not get arrested, or worse! stared at by the upstanding matrons of our town.

The tee is from Old Navy, and the belt is from GAP

Do you also get the urge to wear non-jeans on your casual days? Would a cotton skirt and leggings fit the bill for you?

How To Upgrade Your Wardrobe, If You Feel Like It

2012-02-14T15:28:00.000-05:00

I do go through phases with my wardrobe -- do you? I feel like I am just now coming to the end of a phase. This phase could be characterized by: let's buy a lot of inexpensive (i.e., thrifted and consigned) items, have fun playing with them, then recycle them to the thrifts.

There's nothing bad about this approach. It has been a lot of fun, especially in my trip to NYC for which I packed very little and "lived" in items I acquired there in the amazing thrift stores. I have managed to keep my closets from getting too full, by using my one-in, one-out policy fairly strictly.

I don't know what's moved me, but I feel now like changing to a higher quality, lower-volume wardrobe. I am re-reading some of my favorite style books and blog articles on the topics of the well-curated wardrobe, the pared-down wardrobe, and the quality-over-quantity debate.

Here are some of the ideas sloshing around in my head, about how to upgrade and slim down my current closet. I reserve the right to change my mind! but I am having fun with this paradigm right now. Some changes I'd like to make are:

Better shoes and bags - it's OK to thrift and consignment-shop these items, but I want very good quality and some personality in my shoes and bags.

These Faryl Robin shoes would add quality and personality!

Better accessories – watch, bracelet, earrings. I do want one very nice watch, a steel one for everyday that makes me smile when I look at it. One terrific cuff and a pair of artisan earrings will fill this bill.

I like this watch, for example, by Citizens.

Tops in better knits and silk blends, in black, navy, ivory, and gray. I have bought lots of "cheapie" tops and they have disappointed me after a couple of washings. Time for upgrades!

A cashmere tee is luxurious and long-lasting.

Jeans that fit perfectly. This won't be too hard, because I'm lucky to have a fairly standard-size lower body. But I often have "cheaped out" and purchased just-good-enough jeans. I really do want a great fitting pair that will upgrade my casual looks.

I am not judging myself, or any other woman who enjoys an inexpensive, eclectic closet. It's just clothing, and should be fun, fulfilling and flattering. I am letting my pendulum swing, and enjoying the process. Have you made this journey? Are you in the midst of a pendulum swing right now?

Visible Monday #33: In Which The Brights Overwhelm Me!

2012-02-12T17:10:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #33! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

In the spirit of Visibility, I reached for a very vibrant blouse today. I like a lot of things about it: the subtle ruffles at the neck (hard to see here), tiny puff at the shoulder and cuff, and easy drape. I believe the colors are too vibrant for my very fair, low contrast coloring though. I applied my usual amount of makeup, and I look a little washed-out here. I want to add some blush and lipstick, and that's a sign that the colors I'm wearing next to my face are not ideal.

I do adore this Old Navy skirt, thrifted a couple of years ago, and down to about 25 cents per wear. I noticed that one of Sandy's ties made a lovely almost-fit with the blouse, and he was kind enough to tie it man-style around my waist (that was fun!). Tights and trusty Sofft booties completed the look.

Blouse and skirt: thrifted; Husband's tie as belt; Sofft booties: thrifted

I still have not learned this knot - have you?

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Photo-A-Day: A Self-Portrait, Makes You Happy

2012-02-11T09:42:00.000-05:00

I decided to combine two Photos-A-Day today: A Self-Portrait, and Makes You Happy. This is my beloved Dad and me, on my wedding day in 2001. He died just two years later, but I think about him every day, and still miss him. Thanks for everything, Dad.

Oh, and one more photo that Makes Me Happy -- Stuff on my cat, Skinny G. She sleeps the sleep of the innocent:

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday February 13th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Loving a Full Skirt, and Photo-A-Day

2012-02-09T19:40:00.000-05:00

It's no secret: I favor full, swingy skirts. Make it an olive green, all-silk full skirt and I might be in love. This skirt was snagged from Ann Taylor on clearance, for just $30. It's actually pretty neutral, and I can wear it with a great variety of tops, winter and summer.

The Style and Co. paisley top is thrifted and it blends nicely with lots of other pieces too. I added a two-tone leather belt by Diesel, a thrifted bangle, and some Clark's booties for a simple casual office look.

Our February Photo-A-Day word today is "front door". This is the front door of the house I lived in the first eleven years of my life. I have such fond memories of growing up here, with my mother, grandmother and grandfather. My sweet husband sought this house out on a business trip in 2000, and took this picture to surprise me:

I thought it was so big when I was ten!

A Fabulous Meet-Up With Paula of Fashion Over Fifty!

2012-02-07T18:21:00.000-05:00

What a terrific way to spend a Tuesday: I had the privilege of meeting Paula, creator of the blog Fashion Over Fifty. We met for lunch and did a little shopping, and fashion commentary.

Paula is completely delightful: funny, authentic, super-smart and creative (she has a degree in Fine Arts). We chatted about everything women over 50 might have in common, and then some. We decided that although we take our work seriously, we aren't taking ourselves too terribly seriously, and that laughter is a great coping skill. Then we shared a brownie sundae.

As we browsed through the racks of clothing at Dillards, it was fun to observe our different personal styles at work. Paula loves "neon brights" and gravitates to color, color, color. She's an artist and has a great eye for combining colors and patterns. I was drawn to more muted pieces, but there were several items we both reached for, like a gorgeous feminine blouse:

This one's similar - I couldn't find the exact blouse online.

And a black chiffon-y skirt:

Again, this one's similar, but not identical.

We both also loved these Jessica Simpson shoes, but moaned about the foot-pain that would follow:

And here we are, after lunch, dessert, and one adult beverage each:

I can't wait to meet up with Paula again, she is a treat. This is the best part about blogging - forming relationships that I'd never otherwise have the opportunity to enjoy.

I have fallen behind in my Photo-A-Day project, but here is today's entry, "a button":

I had, and wore, one just like this, circa 1975. We are still three states short!

Visible Monday #32: A Signature Look

2012-02-05T17:10:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #32! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

This is a "signature" look for me, I think: neutrals, medium size prints and accessories, shoes with some personality, and total comfort. There's nothing too tight, stiff or stuffy. I'm covered, but my feminine form is still visible. I think a twenty-something or sixty-something can wear these pieces, or a version of them, so I feel like neither mutton nor lamb! : >

The sweater is from Banana Republic, the skirt is thrifted, originally from H and M, and the booties are by Tsubo. The necklace has a little story: I bought it at an antique store for $24. Good price, right? Well, it was actually $14, but I broke a lamp ($10) while reaching for the necklace, so the price went up. Still, a good value.

These Tsubo booties are becoming favorites. They have lime green lining.

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

My First Blog Stalker! And Photo-A-Day

2012-02-04T11:22:00.000-05:00

Maybe you more seasoned bloggers have gotten lots of stalker emails as a result of your blog posts. I just got my first! Mr. Creepy wrote (among other things) about his desire to see more photos of feet, stockings and "silettos" (sic) (sick).

It's a big world out there, and our posts do go far and wide. We can't control who will read and respond to our writings/photos. I doubt Mr. Feets will bother me again. But have you ever been troubled by a persistent stalker? How did you handle it?

Ironically, today's Photo-A-Day (via FatMumSlim) is "A Stranger". I don't usually categorize people that way, as it has a vaguely suspicious tone, perhaps more suited to the Big City than to our smallish one. But here is a photo that evokes Stranger-ness for me. The actor, Michael C. Hall, is handsome and friendly-looking. But the character, Dexter Morgan, is the ultimate Stranger: he has a very deep, disturbing Secret, and by he time you uncover it, it's too late!

Oh, yes, he is A Stranger! Image via BigDuck

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday February 6th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

Photo-A-Day: Hands

2012-02-03T19:43:00.001-05:00

Fab blogger Chantelle at FatMumSlim is sponsoring the February Photo-a-Day Challenge. Just go here to read the super-simple guidelines, then start posting and sharing.

Today's theme is Hands. Here's my pick for a very fine use of a human finger, combined with kitty hands.
(The rules didn't say "human hands" : > )

Image via Catster

Happy Friday to all.

February Photo-A-Day is Fun! And What I Wore

2012-02-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

Fab blogger Chantelle at FatMumSlim is sponsoring the February Photo-a-Day Challenge. Just go here to read the super-simple guidelines, then start posting and sharing. As you can clearly see, I am already breaking the rules, because I am starting on February 2nd. I have been accused of being slightly oppositional, but really, I just forgot to start yesterday!

My "words" for today are from one of my favorite people, Albert Einstein. As I've revealed before, I have pretended that he was my secret father, because he died the month before I was born. And we have similar hair. Anyway, I love this: "I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious."

Here's my outfit of the day. I like this colorful blouse, because it's low-cut enough to not overwhelm me with its patterns. It's also slim-cut, so it's not an overkill of pattern plus volume. The simple black skirt is a recent thrift score. It's from Banana Republic, 100% silk, nice and swishy. Have I ever said how much I love booties this winter? I love them! these are by Tsubo, and they are so, so comfortable.

Hope you can join in on Photo-A-Day, even if only for a few days. I really enjoy sharing themes with fellow bloggers and readers.

Do You Give Your Body Sincere Compliments? Start Now.

2012-01-31T15:25:00.000-05:00

Image via SoulKissesTV

I've enjoyed the book Inspired Style recommended by Pam of Over50Feeling40. One of the essays, by Oreet Mizrahi, encourages the reader to "Love Your Body, Love Your Life." Two sterling ideas, I say.

Of course we want to love our bodies, but we have a lot of negative programming to work through. If you're over 40, you've experienced years of negative self-talk and "perfect" media images. We've lived through decades of comparing ourselves to other women and "falling short". (And women's magazines always astound me with articles about how to lose ten pounds in ten days, juxtaposed with recipes for quick brownies.)

We learn very early to criticize ourselves and to focus on our so-called shortcomings. I hated my fine, curly hair until my 40's! I thought my pale, pale skin was a flaw. I trash-talked my upper thighs. These thoughts never, ever made me feel any better, but they did make me part of The Club.

So I eagerly absorbed the essay by Ms. Mizrahi, an image consultant, and gleaned the following advice. If you want to love your body:

Change your focus. Close your eyes and imagine all the different parts of your body. Focus on a feature you really appreciate. (Long, slim neck). Keep focusing on it until you start to feel more positive. Choose, as a result of this exercise, to shift your focus and concentrate on the feature(s) you love.
Talk with gratitude to your body. Stand in front of a mirror and say aloud what you are grateful for. Thank your body for all it's done and continues to do for you. Appreciate your body not as a collection of "flaws" in this moment, but as the marvelous vehicle that has carried you everywhere.

Use all your senses to love your body. Use color, fragrance, movement, music, massage to energize and please your body. Buy flowers, take a long bath, pet the cat, step away from the computer. Indulge in one perfect chocolate. Treat your physical self like it deserves good things.

There are many other ways we can re-program ourselves to like, even love, our bodies. We can start right now by just catching the negative word before it leaves our mouth, and replacing it with something kind, or at least neutral. "My upper thighs are so . . . interesting."

Bonus: Here is a wonderful article about How to Make Love To Your Body Everyday!

Is this something you've struggled with? Are you doing better with this in recent years? Has blogging helped?

Visible Monday #31: Black and Blue, In a Good Way

2012-01-29T17:10:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #31! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I'm not breaking through any fashion barriers today, am I? I am in familiar territory, with a cozy knit top and black midi skirt. But I felt so good that my confidence made me more visible and I smiled at (almost) everyone. Being visible isn't only about the clothing, of course: it's also in our posture, our attitude, and our willingness to engage.

I love a horizontal stripe on top, and this Old Navy knit is just right. The dropped shoulder makes it a little more stylish, and how about those stripes lining up between sleeve and body? I also like an open neck like this - no itching, and it shows off collar bones (in my 50's, I am very particular about what gets "shown off").

I like to "surrender the waist" some days; thanks to Angie from You Look Fab for that phrase. It's a different look for me but I enjoy the change. The skirt is a recent thrift store purchase. It's by Randolph Duke, whom I believe sells via the Home Shopping Club. It's a nice medium weight swingy knit. Thrifted wedge boots and a leaf pendant from Forever21 are the final touches.

Nothing fancy, but it feels like me.

Odd kitties give silent approval.

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Lauren Hutton

2012-01-28T10:30:00.001-05:00

Today's pick was another easy one: Lauren Hutton has been a beauty and style icon for over 40 years. She's the epitome of all-American, golden-girl good looks.

Lauren's style feels like California: natural and carefree, exuberant and fresh. She always looks like herself, with her wonderful wavy hair, huge smile and famous gap between her teeth. (She was asked to cover up the gap early in her career, and did so, but I much prefer her natural smile).

She wears a lot of neutrals and solids, mixed with vibrant colors. She appears to wear a light amount of makeup and she embraces "imperfection" - whether in her gap smile or her now-lined face. Her face looks like it's had a wonderful, exciting life and she doesn't want to Botox or erase it with lots of surgery.

Here's some fashion advice from Ms. Hutton, from an interview with People magazine in December 2010: “You never want to look like you’ve spent too much time getting dressed,” she says. “It’s better to look as if you’ve just thrown something on rather than prissed everything up. I like when things are slightly off-kilter, asymmetrical and a little messed up.”

And here's a fun interview with her about personal style, via iVillage. Cheers to you, Lauren Hutton - gorgeous, natural and confident at age 68!

An early ad for Ultima. No gap! Love the doggy's face.

Simple, confident beauty without fuss or frills.

I love, love that natural, wavy hair and makeup.

Again, simplicity and elegance with only red lips as an accent. Perfect!

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday January 30th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

I Was Tagged! Random Stuff, and What I Wore

2012-01-26T19:51:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite bloggers, Ariane of Style Montreal Sud-Est, tagged me as part of a "Random Things" chain-blog event. This fun activity helps us get to know each other better and uncover some deep, dark secrets!

Here are the rules:

1. Post these rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

So first, eleven random things about me:

I am the eldest of three sisters, by twelve and fourteen years
My natural hair color is now 100% silver
My favorite movie is Witness, with Harrison Ford and Kelly McGillis
I won't ride on a roller coaster
I have a blueberry muffin for breakfast nearly every Sunday
I love cheap mystery thrillers
I'm married to a guy who worked on the very first Space Shuttle
My next move will be to a condo with a view of the ocean
I love 7-Eleven coffee, more than any expensive brand
Best TV show of all time, imho: Six Feet Under
I like to burst into song at inappropriate moments (favorite: "I've Got To Be Me")

Next, I must answer the questions Ariane set for me in her post:

What do you think makes you unique: nothing more than makes each of us unique
What is your hidden talent: making up new lyrics to old songs
If you had the choice, where would you live: New York City!
The things you hate to do: hmmmm, change the kitty litter?
The worst injustice: inequality of all kinds
Fast fashion or vintage? Vintage all day long
Red wine or white wine? Red
What makes it that you will be losing your patience? Malfunctioning software
Favorite male actor and why? Gary Oldman - always interesting if a bit odd
High heels or low heels? Low, low, low
Favorite subject in school? French!

Finally, eleven new questions for you (anyone who wants to play) to answer about yourself: Soon we will have carpeted the entire universe with our questions and answers, and there will be no more need for reality television! : >

Who's the most unforgettable character in your life?
Disco or hard rock?
Female public figure you admire?
What you'll never order on your pizza?
If you could have any profession, what would you be doing?
Best pet you've ever known?
What languages do you speak?
Least favorite household chore?
Who was your first crush?
Swimsuit: one piece or two?
Favorite poet or poem of all time?

Thanks for playing along. Here's a simple, cozy outfit I wore today, featuring a pretty lace scarf gifted to me by my mother. The cotton skirt is by Tommy Hilfiger and the booties are by Tsubo. It's nothing very special, but I really like the feminine vibe of the scarf against the sporty pieces.

Happy Friday eve to all!

Don't Be Barbie! Be Real!

2012-01-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

These images jolted me this morning. A French artist, Jocelyne Grivaud, has created a series of works with Barbie substituted into great works of art. See the whole series here at her website; it is fascinating.

At the Louvre: Isn't she magnificent?

What struck me most is: the actual female form is so much more beautiful, more interesting, more sensual than the idealized Barbie!

We need to love and appreciate our bodies, and stop trash-talking our parts. And maybe we should be giving our little girls Venus de Milo's (with arms) to play with?

Visible Monday #30: I've Got a Peaceful Easy (Knit) Feeling

2012-01-22T17:10:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #30! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

Some days you want to be visible and completely comfortable. That's me today. The utter comfort of a vintage knit skirt, paired with a slouchy top and wedge boots -- ahhh.

I see from my pictures that I am breaking the "rules" by not showing leg between my slim skirt and my boot-tops. My skirt should be two inches shorter. I could remedy this next time by just rolling at the waist (I know! Just like when we were 16 years old!).

I added a colorful scarf to brighten up the look, and practiced some techniques I learned from Une Femme's videos (via FabOverFifty). Thanks, Une Femme. I still need more practice but I am improving. The boots are thrifted for about $7, and they are vegan. I struggle with my love of leather accessories while maintaining a vegetarian diet; when I find cute non-leather shoes like these I do snatch them up.

Sweater: GAP; Skirt: vintage, thrifted; Boots: Nicole, thrifted

Two odd kitties approve of my relaxed look

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Franca Sozzani

2012-01-21T11:55:00.001-05:00

I guess it's cheating to choose an editor of Vogue magazine as a fashion inspiration. After all, it's her job to look fabulous every day, and she has access to every gorgeous piece of clothing in the known universe.

But there is something real about Franca Sozzani, editor in chief of Italian Vogue. She does not have a pinched/pulled visage like many wealthy women of her age (61). She smiles a lot. And she chooses outfits that have a spark about them, even a playfulness, that is lovely to see in a fashion icon.

She's very visible with her super-long wavy blonde hair, striking blue eyes and signature smile. Her style shows she values comfort as well as creativity. Her magazine is very daring and cutting-edge, but Franca is more accessible in her fashion choices. She clearly knows what flatters her, and sticks to shapes that don't overwhelm her petite frame.

Franca is not without controversy for us bloggers. She famously wrote about personal style bloggers, "Are they important for Vogue? They don't offer an opinion but only talk about themselves, take their own pictures wearing absurd outfits. What's the point?" Well, I got in a bit of a huff about that. (Absurd outfits? Moi??) But in that article, she went on to say "Personally, I would like to know their opinion to understand a new point of view and not just rely on journalists who have been doing this for thirty years!"

I think her first remark sounds harsh out of context, but she was mainly referring to bloggers wanting front row seats at Fashion Week; she doesn't think that's been "earned" by most bloggers yet. OK, that sound a bit snooty. But while I may disagree with some of her sentiments, I can still adore her style. (See this article for a great deconstruction of Franca's blogger comments.)

And if you want to hear a lovely Italian accent, here is Franca's interview with Arianna Huffington, about fearlessness.

Great smile, and a warm, colorful print.

Her older sister, Carla, is a style icon too.

I think this is a terrific take on the leopard print craze - good proportions
and not too many extras to compete with the coat.

Such a gorgeous color and silhouette for her tiny frame -- and
I would welcome those earrings into my collection : >

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday January 23rd is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Layering Under a Dress and Having a Good Time

2012-01-19T19:27:00.000-05:00

I am getting a lot of wear from my Karina dress. Before I started studying and writing fashion blog/s, I would have seen this dress as a strictly Spring/Summer piece. I'd wear it only with black shoes and maybe a necklace (was I soooo boring? : >)

This time, I layered a simple black GAP tee underneath, for warmth. I love the contrast of the black background for the print dress! I added a super-skinny belt, black tights and (gasp) medium-brown booties. I had such a good time in this outfit - covered up but still feminine, neutral but not boring.

Dress: Karina; Tee: GAP; Booties: Tsubo

I felt pretty sassy.

Bust out, my friends! Many of you don't need this advice, and you've already inspired us with your creativity. For the less daring among us: take a fashion chance and have a blast.

Moving Away From, Moving Towards . . .

2012-01-17T17:23:00.001-05:00

Image via this site

This is an exercise I sometimes assign to my patients: make two lists, one of the things you are moving away from, and the other of things you are moving towards. It helps us see where we are making progress in our lives, how far we have come already, and where we want our goals to take us.

I thought it would be helpful to apply this exercise to wardrobe and style. I don't make New Year's Resolutions! but this is more of a "taking stock" activity, right? : > And January is a convenient time for such things. So here are some of my moving ideas:

I am moving away from:

being "too cheap" with myself
buying disposable, fast-clothing pieces that support unfair labor practices
falling back on black and gray for my comfort zone
feeling bad about my aging face and neck
envy of others' wardrobes/talents/blogs
predictability

I am moving toward:

budgeting for a few higher-quality pieces to elevate my wardrobe
being more discerning when I thrift-shop (just because it's $4, doesn't mean I have to have it)
growing more comfortable with my best colors, like green and purple, as staples in my closet
accepting the changes in my face and body, while staying healthy and fit
appreciation of my own closet and my own gifts
creativity

I am sure there are more, and I'll probably add to this list as the year goes on. I would love to hear from you -- what are you moving away from/towards? Or are you at a sweet spot right now?

Visible Monday #29: Brightening Up Winter Wear

2012-01-15T17:10:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #29! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I was inspired today by my friend Paula of Fashion Over Fifty. She looked so fabulous in her red and pink combo that I wanted to try something similar: hot pink and purple.

Even in Florida, winter can seem long if I stick to my dark neutrals every day. This floral knit top is cheery, super-soft and in one of my best colors. The black slim skirt is a regular; its cost-per-wear is probably down to pennies. The fun piece is the hot pink scarf as belt, thrifted for $2.

In my old, pre-blogger days, I would have chosen only a "nice" black leather belt to complete this outfit. Times have changed, my friends. Let's hear it for blogging and visibility!

Blouse: Izod; Skirt: Laundry; Scarf: Kenneth Jay Lane; Boots: Gianni Bini

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Julianne Moore

2012-01-14T11:17:00.000-05:00

Julianne Moore seems so ageless to me. She's looked the same to my eyes for about 15 years. I think it's because of her signature hairstyle and makeup, and her lovely, understated style. She is one of my favorite actresses too; I will watch Children of Men every time it's on, just to see her performance.

Like so many of us women of a certain age, her style has evolved over the years. Unlike us, she's been in the public eye, and has been criticized for some of her earlier red carpet choices. I think she's always looked gorgeous.

She works her colors beautifully. I love a bold green or red next to her pale skin. She highlights her lovely form without going very bare and she looks happy and grounded. (Very handsome husband too, IMHO!) And the woman has some awesome footwear.

You go, Julianne, an inspiring age 51!

Ahh, this shade of green, and the cascading earrings are so flattering.

She took a lot of fashion heat for this look, but I like the quirky one-sleeve wrap.
And the teal is so pretty with her deep red hair.

Cute casual look. Yummy husband.

A simple dress, made special with killer shoes and bag.

Oh, yes, a redhead can wear red.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday January 16th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: A Sheer Red Midi Skirt, Why Not??

2012-01-12T18:37:00.000-05:00

Well, not sheer-sheer. There's a full and modest lining. But it's still a funky and outside-the-norm skirt for the office. I've worn it before with a solid black top, but I think I like it better with this ruffled print blouse. Tucked in, it shows off the skirt's leather waistband.

To quote my best-guy Tim Gunn, this could be a "lot of look", so I added only my ring, a simple silver pendant, and black Aldo boots. I felt good all day, super comfortable because nothing was grabbing or pulling me. And hey, a swishy skirt is fun. Dressing should be fun (but not hysterical).

Blouse: Anne Klein; Skirt: DKNY, thrifted; Boots: Aldo

The skirt has mini-pleats over a smooth lining.

Have a great evening, and I hope you are wearing something very fun right now.

The Messages We Send, Refined

2012-01-10T17:24:00.000-05:00

By some fortunate confluence of female power, there have been several terrific posts this week about the messages we send with our appearance. Pam has a post about feeling more authoritative in her black and white suit. Serene wrote about young women sending sexually provocative messages with their clothing. And Angie offers a great exercise about what fashion messages we aspire to.

For most of my younger life I didn't give much thought to what my clothes were saying about me. I mean, I cared about how I looked, but didn't focus consciously on my image. Work clothes were professional, predictable and safe. The unconscious message was: you can trust me, I am here for business.

Date clothes were slinkier, shorter and more fun. The message was: I am a fun-loving girl and if I like you, there will be some smooching later. Then there were jeans, tees and sweaters. All clothing was purchased at the mall or in downtown department stores, and yes, I am sure I could "see myself coming and going."

It has been a revelation and a revolution to really dig into fashion in my middle years. After about age 45, I started enjoying clothes in a new way: as a means of expressing myself consciously. I don't mean with a message tee shirt, although I admit to still liking those (they are always on the list of Fashion Don'ts for Women of a Certain Age).

I'd still wear it, fashion faux-pas or not.

During my middle years, I am having much more fun with clothing, experimenting and evolving. Now I often think about the messages my look may be communicating. And now my clothes are so much more personal, often found at resale shops and boutiques.

While I never dressed very provocatively, it would feel so strange now. My sexuality is much more personal, not for public view. Think more Diane Keaton, less Courtney Love. So one of my messages is: I am a woman, but not available for consumption!

I like this message: "I'm covered up but still feminine."

Another message I hope I am sending is: I am comfortable in my skin. I am not trying too hard, I don't have a need to impress so much any more. Of course I want to look attractive, that's natural, but not at the price of being stuffed into clothing that belongs to someone else.

Not comfortable in his skin. Love you, Ralphie.

I am all grown up now, and my wardrobe communicates that message. I am a woman to be reckoned with at times, not a little girl. I am feminine, but not on display. I hope my clothing says that I am approachable too, not snobbish or stiff.

If my dress could talk, I'd like her to say: "Let's have a chat, woman-to-woman, about something fascinating!"

How about you? What would your clothing say if it could talk?? Has the message changed over the years?

Visible Monday #28: Menswear, a Thrift Score, and an Almost-Suit

2012-01-08T17:00:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #28! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I don't wear much menswear-inspired clothing. I usually lean toward a more feminine, flowy vibe. But I had to try an outfit built around my new/thrifted vest. Because it's by Comme des Garcons! Yes, we faithful, slogging thrifters are occasionally rewarded with a fashion treat.

The vest is beautifully constructed and the wool fabric is divine. It's a bit too large for me, but hey, for $3, was I going to leave it on the rack??? (that's a rhetorical question : >). So I paired it with a feminine cotton blouse by Ralph Lauren (also thrifted) and a simple wool skirt from Tahari (yes, thrifted).

To avoid a too-corporate look, I added blue tights, booties, and my husband's tie as a belt. He has sworn off ties forever, so I have free rein of his collection. I like the resulting almost-suit -- not too stiff, but doing justice to the finely tailored vest. I'll wear the vest in the future with my jeans, and with more feminine, floral skirts in the spring.

A man's tie makes a cool belt, I think.

Should one button or unbutton one's vest?

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-45 Variety: Kyra Sedgwick

2012-01-07T12:01:00.000-05:00

Well, I must admit, this is a lot about the hair! I have adored Kyra Sedgwick's glorious curls/waves for many years, and I feel a bit sad when I see her hair straightened. She has a lovely, feminine look that can go from bohemian to very ladylike. And she dresses up a pair of jeans and a tee beautifully.

She looks very comfortable in her skin, and appears to have a happy personal life with husband (and fellow genetically-blessed human) Kevin Bacon, and children. I haven't watched her television show The Closer, but I hear she is a fun actress to watch too. You go, Kyra, natural and confident and very fetching at age 47!


Red carpet glamor in a curve-hugging but simple cobalt gown. She knows her colors.

I adore the loose waves, and again a simple bold color near her face is so flattering.


Very cute in cuffed jeans, wedges and a boho blouse. Kevin looks a bit rumpled!

Another stunning fitted dress, with simple jewelry. And gorgeous hair.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday January 9th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Animal Prints Again!

2012-01-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

Am I in a rut? I really only have four animal print pieces in my whole wardrobe, but I am wearing them a lot. Did you see the movie Cat People? Is it possible I am morphing . . .

Anyway, here is a simple, comfortable way I wore my ~~new skin~~ leopard print tee: I added a gray knit slim skirt and the usual tights-and-boots. The skirt's a bit of a puzzle. It is a medium weight knit, finished very well, but with not a single tag. I thrifted it for a couple of dollars, so I don't know the provenance. It could be as old as the 60's when two-piece knit dresses were very a la mode.

I like my newly thrifted knit skirt - it's totally comfortable with all-way stretch

I think this outfit falls into the category of: "I like it and I don't care terribly much if I'm working this look too hard!" Who knows, in a few weeks I may be excited about something completely different. That's why fashion is so much fun. : >

The skirt reminds me of this kind of 1960's two-piece dress.

The Items That Make (or Break) Your Look

2012-01-03T19:15:00.000-05:00

I have been reading Inspired Style, a collection of articles about fashion and beauty, recommended by Pam of Over50Feeling40. Thanks Pam! It's been a fun read, with many groovy tips that I'm incorporating into my style-encyclopedia.

One of the articles asks the reader to identify three items that "make or break" your look. These are the pieces that take your outfit from just OK to memorable, confident, ready-for-anything. Some frequently mentioned examples are:

A piece of statement jewelry (hello again, Pam, and the other bloggers who featured statement necklaces today!).

Cleves necklace by the incomparable designer Wendy Brandes

A fabulous purse that elevates your style, even if you're wearing jeans and a graphic tee.
A favorite pair of sunglasses that make you feel polished and put-together.

A magnificent scarf or wrap with your best colors, that you can toss on four days a week for instant style.

You get the idea. Maybe a special belt, pair of earrings or even a statement lipstick. I can't picture Paloma Picasso without her red lips. She might look just like the woman next door, picking up the newspaper!

It was easy for me to choose my two look-makers: my hair and my footwear. As long as my hair is rocking, I feel more confident below-the-neck. Bad hair = tougher to walk with a bounce in my step. So I do baby it, and put good products in it, and talk nicely to it.

Stylish shoes and boots always make me feel more fabulous. I picture a simple denim skirt and striped tee, then I mentally add some cool wedge sandals or deep red booties. Much better!

These shoes will put a smile on my face

I do love handbags, but living in the suburbs doesn't offer the same opportunities for bag-appreciation as city life. And once I get to my office, I stow my bag for the day. I can still secretly adore it, but it doesn't get many looks.

What are your make-it-fabulous items? What takes your outfit from good-enough to I-feel-great? Nothing is off-limits : >

Visible Monday #27: Start the New Year with a Friendly Link-Up!

2012-01-01T17:00:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year! And welcome to Visible Monday #27! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I am starting off the year with a faithful favorite: an animal print. This time it's in skirt form, and no actual animals were harmed in its making. Many polyesters and rayons may have met their ends, however. I bought this skirt at Housing Works thrift store in NYC, for under $10. It's from H & M, in a nice, sturdy material and feels very cozy.

The top is a vintage 80's find from a local thrift. I like the open neckline and three-quarter sleeves. My preference lately has been for clothing that doesn't fit too closely to the body, and this top is perfection. (It really isn't very sheer; I got caught in the Alexandra Kerry photo-flash effect!)

Of course, tights and boots finish the look, it being January and all. And, because I obsess on recent purchases, I am wearing my bangle bracelet yet again. I felt great at work in this outfit, covered enough but with a bit of personality showing through.

Top: vintage,thrifted; Skirt: H & M, thrifted; Boots: Aldo

The blouse isn't nearly so sheer in real life: the camera flash has this effect!

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Linda Fargo. And Return of Visible Monday!

2011-12-31T10:56:00.000-05:00

The fashion director of Bergdorf Goodman is not an everyday name in my circles, but I am taken with Linda Fargo's confident, crisp style. She looks sophisticated without looking unapproachable, and she actually puts on a gorgeous smile when being photographed!

Her silvery hair seems to be her signature accessory, a chic bob that suits her perfectly. My own hair could never do this. But I learn from watching Linda that we can make our hair, whatever its natural texture, an integral part of our look.

Of course in her position, she can choose from the highest-end and newest designer pieces. She does so in a way that looks effortless and appropriate for a successful 50-something woman. The end result is classy and modern, accented with a signature piece of jewelry and red lipstick. A terrific look for a woman of a certain age, or any age, who knows herself and her style!

In a Jil Sander suit, simple lines but with a surprising color.

Doing the color-blocking trend, very sophisticated. I'd show less leg, but
Linda pulls this off well. I love the signature necklace, with no other jewelry.

Monochromatic and then boom! the animal print booties

I like this casual chic look, although I prefer my fur on the faux side.

Linda adds playfulness to her red carpet looks. Love the gorgeous cuff!

Visible Monday link-up returns on Monday, January 2, 2012. We'll be kicking off a new year of fabulous looks that make us feel great about ourselves. Please join in, it's so easy and lots of fun!

What I Wore: Simple, Warm and Thrifty!

2011-12-28T19:06:00.000-05:00

We finally got some cooler weather today so YAY, it was time for a proper sweater. I even wore a medium weight jacket and scarf on my way to work, and I wore my boots without feeling the slightest bit geeky.

The sweater is a steal from Old Navy, on sale for $14. It's in one of my signature colors, mostly cotton, and it is so soft and comfortable. The skirt has been seen quite a bit around these parts, a thrifted 1980's midi. I didn't expect it to be so versatile when I picked it up!

The Diesel belt is thrifted from Beacon's Closet in Brooklyn (I miss you, NYC!) and the Gianni Bini boots are from a delightful consignment store right around the corner from my home. I felt great all day in this outfit. I realize it could be sparked up with more jewelry, scarves, etc., but it suited me just fine today.

I do have gold sparkly nail polish - that should count as an accessory, right??

And my newly thrifted bangle - a colorful touch.

Do you ever take a break from serious accessorizing, and go the simple route?

Do You Stray, Then Return To Your Tried And True Styles?

2011-12-26T11:57:00.000-05:00

Part of the joy of fashion is experimenting, stepping outside our comfort zones. Some women do adopt a uniform and wear it throughout their lives, but these are few, and most of them have rather striking features and personalities.

Timeless Coco

The majority of us enjoy changing our look periodically, incorporating trends, and trying new colors and silhouettes. I have a theory though (well, I have thousands of theories and no one wants to hear them) that we tend to move back toward our tried and true looks. That we revert to the mean, to use a math analogy.

I don't mean that we never change our style, of course we do. I for one will not be found in stiff, corporate suits, nude hose and pumps again. That chapter of my life is over. And the bold skin-baring looks of youth will not pass my closet door.

But I yam what I yam and I know what I know. In broad strokes, I have a feminine look: pale skin, light curly hair and a slim, elongated form. I know that these looks are my best:

Muted colors. No primary colors.
Soft lines rather than very crisp ones.
Subtle prints.
Flowing skirts and dresses.

This Anthropologie dress is so my-style, though I prefer sleeves.

Defined waistlines.
Medium-proportioned jewelry and handbags.

I try to move outside my comfort zone, and that's been one of the goals of Visible Monday. I've had success in adding new colors (pale yellow), silhouettes (midi skirts) and accessories (love my colored tights). But although I have wandered over to the following looks, they really did not feel/look like "me", so they've ended up in consignment and thrift stores:

Sharply tailored blazers with shoulder pads.
Crisp white man-tailored shirts with big collars.

I adore this look but it doesn't work for me.

Black leather jackets (I love them, but a fitted gray or dark brown one would be more me).
Plaids - near my face anyway. A plaid skirt is divine.
Bold, over-sized pieces. Love them, but not on me.

What about you? Do you "stray" in search of a new look, then find yourself returning to your tried and true? Do you have a range of looks that's "you" and do you feel uncomfortable when you move outside of it?

Or are you a true chameleon, happy to change looks as the mood arises, and comfortable in many styles? No wrong answers of course, I love to hear your views!

Joyful Holiday Wishes to You! (And A Week Off From Visible Monday)

2011-12-24T11:41:00.000-05:00

Happiest Holiday wishes to you all! Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas and Festive Festivus! I am taking a couple of days off, so we will not be doing our Visible Monday on December 26th. But we will return with Visible Monday next year! on Monday January 2nd.

This is not my beloved Stinky, but a very good resemblance!

What I Wore: I Took Your Fine Advice!

2011-12-22T20:40:00.001-05:00

This isn't the exact same outfit that you helped me with (that one's here), but it's similar. It's mostly light colors, has a spring-y feel about it and I am determined to winterize it! In my wilting defense, it's 78 degrees here today.

Many of you fashionistas advised me to "ground" the outfit with darker hose and shoes/boots, and I agree. So that's what I did here, and I like the look. I think next time I'll add a dark leather belt to further ground the whole ensemble.

Skirt: Odille; Sweater: Urban Outfitters; Shoes: Clarks

I love my new thrifted bangle bracelet.

My head is missing today - I am still battling a lingering cold/weird flu and was just not ready for full exposure!

I am honored and delighted to have been selected for a Liebster Blog award from blogger Becks of At Her Best. Becks passed this information on:

Liebster means "dearest" in German, and this award is given to bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. The stipulations of the award are as follows:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Reveal your 5 blogger picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Hope that the people you have sent the award to will forward it to their favorite bloggers.

I have so, so many favorite blogs, so I can't choose just five! But as a good team player, I will pass this award with pleasure to:

The Dashing Eccentric
The Elegant Bohemian
Not Dressed As Lamb
Style Montreal Sud-Est

Much affection and happiest holiday wishes are sent to you all; I hope your days ahead are filled with peace and joy.

Do You Shop Outside The Lines?

2011-12-20T18:01:00.001-05:00

I bought a very sweet, short raincoat last week - canvas with a zipper and snaps, hood and lots of pockets. It was at a thrift shop, and marked at a very attractive $3. After I tried it on, I noticed the size -- 14? I'm usually a 4-6-8. Sometimes in vintage clothing I'll wear a 10 or 12, as sizing has changed a lot. But this item was a bit on the fitted side. I checked the tag and it was a boy's size!

Is it illegal or unseemly for a 56 year old woman to wear a boy's clothing item? I haven't shopped anywhere but the women's department for 30 years. The Juniors stuff is adorable, but way too short/cute/tight for me. It hadn't occurred to me that some basics might be hanging around for the taking in the boy's or men's departments. So I did a little scouting, and found some possibilities:

Chunky sweaters already have a slightly boyish feel, so you can check out the boy's selection for something a little offbeat.
Pea coats are timeless, and you can sometimes find a bargain in the boy's or girl's department, or at the thrift store.
Rain gear, like the jacket I found, are good buys in the boy's or even men's departments. No frills, good quality and they get the job done
Wool blazers can be found, if you're a fairly small-busted woman. The quality is often very good, but watch out for brass buttons.

It's 100% wool, $40, and kinda cute. From GAP.

Belts from the boy's and men's department can be great bargains, especially from the thrifts. There are some fantastic quality leathers out there for the guys, and who doesn't need a nice solid brown or black belt?
Denim shirts - the boy's and men's versions have a cool, tough look that can be sweetened up with a floral skirt, or belted over a pretty blouse.

Polo Ralph Lauren. This one's $72, but they can be found for less.

Scarves -- the guys have some fab winter scarves in solids, checks and plaids.

A nice flannel-y scarf from Old Navy, $8

Brogues -- I am newly in love with these manly shoes, and guess what? -- you can find them in the consignment and thrift stores at good prices, if your feet are big enough (how often do you hear that??)

A few tips for crossing over to the distaff side for clothing: the fit won't be tailored, it'll be more slouchy or boxy, and definitely casual rather than dressy. And you'll probably want to balance your guy-wear with some feminine pieces. The boy's blazer with a flowy skirt would be fun, or the brogues with patterned tights.

Have you ever crossed the aisle and shopped with the boys? Share your thoughts in the comments, please!

Visible Monday #26: Body-Skimming, not Body-Squeezing

2011-12-18T17:10:00.012-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #26! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

A great-shaped knit dress is very, very friendly to the over-40 woman. It skims over the body and is seamed to help define curves where you want them. The fabric is heavy enough to not cling, just glide. Its clean statement doesn't need much help in the accessories department, because it's so sure of itself. But it is fun to accessorize too, with jackets, boleros, scarves, cardis, and of course, any jewelry piece you fancy.

This charcoal dress is actually my first Eileen Fisher piece, and I'm in love. I bought it in NYC at Buffalo Exchange for only $25, so that is part of the love story. I can't say enough about the quality and fit of this dress, so I'll be hunting for Eileens in the future. I added only pale grey footless tights and Sofft booties, and some subtle jewelry. I like the simple lines of the dress as they outline, but don't hug, my shape.

Hmmm . . . I wonder why I look so shiny? I will blame the flash.

Simple accessories: just a chunky watch, cuff, earrings, and ankle boots.

This shapely Eileen Fisher pencil skirt would love to be in my closet.

I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Annette Bening

2011-12-17T10:17:00.000-05:00

Today's fabulous Woman of a Certain Age is one we've been following in the public eye since her smashing breakthrough 21 years ago in The Grifters. Annette Bening is not a glamor girl but a true beauty, with a smile that lights up the room. I've always loved her effortless hairstyles and simple makeup. Her unfussy fashion sense leans heavily on menswear-inspired pieces, but she "glams up" beautifully too.

I think she's a grand actress, who can do comedy and drama with equal skill, and make it look easy. She's been married to Warren Beatty for almost 20 years and is the mother of four children. Here's to Annette, a gorgeous age 53!

She makes her short hair so chic. And the earrings - boom!

Classic menswear, but with a wonderful feminine vibe.

I don't know why she's holding the bread but I adore the suit, hair, everything.
Everybody, eat more bread!

So gorgeous in a Marchesa dress.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday December 12th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: My Karina Dress, Made Work-Casual

2011-12-15T10:38:00.001-05:00

I love my Karina dress. It's such a simple, go-to piece in my closet. Always fits, washes so easily, no ironing, and it's the perfect length for me. So I do wear it a lot. Today, it's pretty casual with a cotton shirt belted over it, black tights and calf-high Aldo boots. I added just my watch and a silvery cuff for adornment.

The last time I showed this dress, it looked more dressy (for lack of a better word!), with faux pearls and heels. I have also worn it with a colorful tee underneath for a weekend look, paired with my new denim jacket. I will show that jacket soon, it's a winner.

Dress: Karina dresses; Shirt: Lafayette 148; Belt: GAP, thrifted

I feel like I am being watched . . .

Do you have a go-to dress in your closet, that's always there for you?

P.S. My readers can use a special discount if you order any full price Karina dress:

$30 Off Any Full Price Dress - GIBP30

Use your discount code at:
http://karinadresses.myshopify.com/collections/all

What’s Your Dreaded Wardrobe Malfunction?

2011-12-13T17:10:00.001-05:00

Did that phrase ("wardrobe malfunction") originate at the 2004 Superbowl? I will have to perform fashion due diligence to find out, but in any case, it's caught on! Very few of us will have the opportunity to experience Janet Jackson's degree of malfunction, but in an imperfect world, sartorial stuff does happen.

Here are some of my dreaded W. M.'s, taken from my actual daily life:

Wayward bra straps. Everything is nice and sleek as I leave the house, but upon arrival at work, the straps are peeking out, and pretty much stay that way. Some marvelous dresses and blouses have bra strap holders that snap your strap into place. Should be required.

Well, I haven't gone this far . . .

Tights that creep down the leg as the day goes on. I have simply removed these offenders at lunch, and gone bare-legged on occasion. These give me a very insecure feeling.
Singing shoes. You have to have a sense of humor if your shoes squeak a happy tune as you walk the halls. Sometimes this goes away with repeated wearings, but I haven't found a cure yet. Any ideas?

And these aren't necessarily singing shoes, but how cute is Pete?

Surprise see-through skirts. It looks fine and modest in the morning, at home. Suddenly, the Seven-Eleven clerk is giving me the eye, and I notice I'm fairly sheer below the waist. Slips are the cure! But I forget sometimes.

Intentionally sheer, and very chic -- but not for work : >

Won't-stay-tucked-in shirts. Arrgggh. I don't like to tuck-in six times an hour. This kind of shirt is fine if your job requires you to sit (or lie) perfectly still for 6 hours. I usually opt for soft knits and tees, slightly on the long side.
The ultimate: skirt tucked into tights while exiting the restroom! I don't have to tell my story on this one, do I?

Please tell me you've had a few W. M.'s yourselves? Can you add to the list? Have you been asked to perform at the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Visible Monday #25: An Actual Suit! Conservative for a Change

2011-12-11T17:10:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #25! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

Today's look is a change for me in a couple of ways: I rarely wear trousers (I do love jeans though), and I rarely wear a matched suit (see last week's "Almost Suit" here). My usual style is less structured.

But I do like this lightweight wool Tahari suit. It was scored for $5 at the Humane Society Thrift, and it's in perfect, unworn condition! Yikes! It also fits very well; just the waist is a little snug and I can move a button there. The shoulder pads are small, and that helps me feel less boxy/overwhelmed up top.

I softened the severe pinstriped suit with a ruffled floral blouse by Lucky Brand. I also wore feminine drop earrings, but they often get lost in my mop.

Even though this look is outside my normal comfort zone, it did make me feel powerful and visible. I teased my boss about going on interviews today. And I will dress the suit down for future wearings, with a colorful tee or sweater. The only "no" for me would be to pair it with a traditional button-down shirt - that's just too conventional for my look. Love it on others though!

I feel pretty good in this, like I should take a meeting or something : >

The shoes are my favorite Sofft booties.

Are you stretching your comfort zones? I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Anjelica Huston

2011-12-10T11:39:00.001-05:00

I really only noticed Anjelica Huston for the first time in Prizzi's Honor, the 1985 movie for which she won the acting Oscar. And oh boy, did I notice her. She had a regal beauty, and her arched eyebrow said a thousand words.

She did a lot of Vogue photo work in the 70's, along with acting (and of course, dating Hollywood rake Jack Nicholson). Her basic look remains unchanged: the raven hair, red lips and those cheekbones. Her style has been classic and elegant for a couple of decades, featuring solid brights and black, all of which work so beautifully with her features and her vibe.

She was recently quoted about the aging process, "I'm shocked every time I look in a mirror or pass a shop window. I had no conception that one got older. You go, 'Oh my God!' Even my birthdays always shock me, but in a positive way. I can't believe that I've spent all these decades on this planet. It's a beautiful thing,"

Brava, Anjelica, for your graceful and non-plastic look at age 60!


From a photo shoot in the 70's. Those eyes!


Menswear, but unmistakable feminine.


Cool, classic, elegant, in simple lines and bright color.


Fabulous in emerald green, as she accepts her Oscar in 1985

Still gorgeous at 60, sticking to classics.

What I Wore: Not Quite Sure About This!

2011-12-08T19:22:00.002-05:00

I like to leave the house feeling fully calm and confident in my attire. Life will throw us enough interesting curves throughout the day, and one thing I can control is the thread on my back!

I kind-of love this bohemian dress, but I have second thoughts too. It might be that the color is a shade too bright for my preferred palette. The shape is great - I love the empire waist and the knee length. Perhaps it’d be better with the sleeves off (or “off-ski”, as Thrifty Mrs. said today). Or skip the necklace and do cuff bracelets instead. The boots are OK, I think, as are the textured tights.

Can you fab fashionistas offer any advice, including “send that dress right back to the thrift store!”? We can’t hit home runs every time we take the plate, right?


You can tell my smile is not as wide as usual -- what's wrong?

Does the dress have more potential sans the sleeves?

Thanks for any feedback and Happy Thursday!

My History in Lipstick

2011-12-06T17:36:00.000-05:00

I am inspired today by the always-inspiring Serene of The Elegant Bohemian. Serene wrote about her history in fragrance, and it was a lovely walk down memory lane. We mid-life women have shared many fragrances, and each one evokes a period in my life, from pre-teen to fully-grown woman.

Serene's post got me thinking about a similar history: my life in lipstick. Such a simple little object, but it meant a lot to most of us as young girls, then young women, just starting out in our quest for "femininity". Here are some of my own milestones, and I would love to hear about yours:

At age 10, trying on my grandmother's Coty red lipstick, that she kept in a drawer next to her Coty loose powder. It was so exotic and forbidden to little girls, so of course I reveled in it, until grandma found out.


So elegant in its gold tube. Not so elegant on my 10 year old face!

Memories! And what messes I made.

My first very-own lipsticks were by Yardley. I treasured the off-white frosted Yardley that I thought made me look just like Twiggy. My lips were probably rather ghastly in retrospect.

During my college years, I wore virtually no makeup. I was a Serious Student, with no time for such frivolities. Short, curly hair, jeans and turtlenecks every day, Chapstick on my lips and books under my arm. If Clearasil counts as makeup, that was my brand.
As a young professional I did lots of experimenting with every color imaginable. I loved to drift by the cosmetics counters at all the big department stores and try the latest shades. Dark violet is in? I want it. No-color lips? I had them. Because I was enjoying spreading my fashion and beauty wings, I bought the "better" brands, like Estee Lauder and Lancome.

A French Vogue cover from February 1981. I'm sure I had that lipcolor once.

Since about age 45, in my happy, self-accepting middle years, my lips are treated to mainly rosy pinks. I have just a few true favorites by Revlon (I'm back to the drugstore!), with an occasional trip to Sephora or Ulta for fun. But nary a fuchsia nor a nude will touch my lips again. It's good to know oneself, and the journey has been fun as well.

What's your lipstick story? Please share.

Visible Monday #24: Crazy Legs and an Almost-Suit

2011-12-04T17:10:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #24! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

It's still warm and sunny here in Central Florida, so I am trying to combine comfortable fabrications with Fall-ish colors and patterns. This ruffled blouse is all silk, and it layers nicely under a jacket or cardigan. The skirt is vintage 1980's, recently thrifted for 50 cents! I know, ridiculous, less than a pack of gum. But I like the shape, and the hand of the fabric.

The jacket is a recently thrifted find, a cotton/linen blend that is just the right weight for our climate. The peace sign scarf is an oldie but favorite accent. And of course, I insist on wearing boots or booties -- these are by Sofft.

The picture on the bookshelf is my dad holding me as a baby, circa 1956.
It's my favorite picture ever.

I like the look of an almost-suit for work. The scarf-as-belt and blue legs keep it from looking
too corporate or stuffy for my style.

Now, I can't wait to see what you are wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Saturday Inspiration, of the Over-50 Variety: Kristin Scott Thomas

2011-12-03T12:07:00.000-05:00

Kristin Scott Thomas is not a glamour-girl Hollywood type. I adore her style, and her relaxed-yet-chic fashion and beauty choices. Her hair looks natural, she doesn't appear to artificially plump her lips or cheeks, and her eyes have that "I know a thing or two" look. I don't know anything about her personal life, and I like it that way -- I imagine she keeps it to herself! A very fine actress, and a very fine age 51.

Simple, confident and pretty. Great red lips.

We could wear this! It may be too neutral for some tastes, but I like the
relaxed elegance and leopard belt for fun.

One (major) statement piece, and she keeps the rest so simple,
including her makeup.


I love this little black dress with a vintage brooch. I would wear this, with pleasure.

Do you like KST's style? Or do you prefer a more exuberant look? No wrong answers : >

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday December 5th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Leopard, with a 60's Vibe

2011-12-01T20:02:00.000-05:00

I really like this leopard (or is it cheetah?) print top - it's nice and slouchy, has the three-quarter sleeves I favor, and is easy to style with a lot of skirts. Today I went with a very retro pencil skirt. It's a cool find from a local charity thrift -- a lightweight wool, fully lined, with super curvy shape. The label is "Zelda", and it looks like a late 1960's design. The price: 50 cents, on clearance. Crazy!

I was concerned that the boots might be too costume-y, but I wore them anyway, 'cause it's not against the law to look a little different. I actually got quite a few compliments at work, and I felt pretty visible in a good way.

Knit top and gabardine skirt, thrifted; Guess belt; Vintage boots, also thrifted.
Can you even tell I have textured tights on? My legs are naturally this color : >

As usual, I wore an ivory blazer when seeing clients.

Tomorrow is Friday, hooray! It's been a long week-after-holiday for me -- you too?

Wardrobe Obsessions - What's Yours Today?

2011-11-29T16:19:00.000-05:00

Fashion and style are such a glorious hobby. We get to be creative, expressive, individual, purposeful -- and obsessive! All within the realm of normal human behaviors.

Without being a slave to trends (and most of us reading this blog are not), it is fun to get temporarily besotted with some item of clothing or accessory, and to stalk, hunt and collect it. Sometimes the stalking is just via window or cyber-shopping, without buying. In my life, it means seeking affordable versions of my current crush, via thrift and consignment stores. Every once in a while, the object of desire is worth a splurge, and lasts for decades, like my beloved Moissanite wedding ring.

Here are some of my past obsessions. Maybe you will relate to one or more -- I'd love to know. I'll post my current obsession at the end.

Vintage gloves. I had to look at every pair in town, and on eBay! I bought several, and still wear and appreciate them.
Tote bags. The search for the perfect work tote bag was feverish for a while. I looked at canvas, brocade, vintage, kooky and classic. I now have two, a gorgeous quilted design made by a friend, and a practical pleather one that looks good with every outfit.
Cuff bracelets. Still loving on these, but I do own enough. I think.

Except I think I need this one. So cute.

Tingly lip glosses. I went far and wide, and keep coming back to Burt's Bees. Guess I am sticking with this one.
Patterned tights. You can ask me who carries these in my small city, 'cause I have been around. (Target's got the best selection and prices).
Midi skirts. My eyes followed only the hemlines of skirts on the racks, and I reached for the long ones. I did end up with a handful of cool midis for this Fall/Winter, without spending very much.

If it's midi, it's for me. From Asos.

And my present obsession: chunky boots. I can't get enough. At every thrift store I enter, I head straight for the boots -- ankle, mid-calf, knee, doesn't matter. I touch them all and envision how they'll work in my wardrobe. As usual, I buy just a few and enjoy the heck out of them.

And lately, I seem to want more and more like these (Steve Madden here)

Or these, by Merrell.

These are some of the ways I enjoy guilt-free shopping and indulgences. I have very few identifiably "bad" habits (at least not any more). And my work life is serious and responsible. So it's a treat to have an obsession and play it through with joy.

What are your fashion obsessions, past and present?

Visible Monday #23: Breaking Rules Willy-Nilly, and Having Fun

2011-11-27T17:10:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #23! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

Today I chose the second gift that wonderful Sheila (of Ephemera) sent me (see the first one here): a yummy silk blouse by Talbots. It fits me perfectly, thank you Sheila! And in her honor, I am pattern-mixing it with my favorite hounds-tooth midi skirt. I am actually assigning this skirt to the "Neutrals" category, because it "goes" with every darn top in my closet. Whee, breaking rules at my advanced age!

A belt pulls the look together, I think. I am also showing my little GAP faux-fur jacket as a topper. I thrifted it a couple of years ago, and I love to pull it out of the closet for the 6 - 10 cool days we have down here. For footwear, boots of course. As long as I can extend boot season on either side of the calendar, I will do it!

I read in one of my fashion/style books that when wearing boots with a skirt the "rule" is: for form-fitting skirts, show a little skin (or hose) between the hem of the skirt and the top of the boot. For full skirts, like mine, it's OK to have the skirt cover the top of the boot. What do you say?

Blouse, c/o Sheila, thrifted vintage skirt, GAP jacket and belt,
Gianni Bini boots

I'm linking to Tammy @ SilverStyle's "Trending Through the Decades" here!

Now, I would love to see what you are wearing this holiday weekend - did you buy something new/old and fabulous on Super-Shopping Friday??

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Today's Inspiration, Of The Over-50 Variety . . .

2011-11-26T10:21:00.000-05:00

. . . is the fascinating Tilda Swinton. True, her style is not for everyone. She is sometimes quite stark, with her pale skin and no-makeup look. She wears some edgy clothes that definitely would not work for me. But I love her fashion statements, her divine posture, and her serene self-possession. Keep showing us your cool, fab style, Tilda, and congrats on just having turned 51!

Casual, and still with the mysterious smile

She's so cool and collected, and gorgeous in deep green

Her much-criticized 2008 Oscar gown. I like it.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday November 28th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

The Beauty of Experience

2011-11-25T15:15:00.000-05:00

After reading the post I re-ran yesterday, I got to thinking more about beauty and age. I've been contemplating how aging or experience translates to beauty. That's what aging is, after all - experience at living. And experience helps us in every area of our lives: at parenting, at our jobs, at managing money and homes and hobbies.

So can it help us be more beautiful and stylish? I think yes. Here are some of the ways experience can make us more beautiful:

We don't doubt ourselves as we select our wardrobes, so we are more sure of our choices.
Our style reflects who we are more closely -- because we know who we are, more confidently each year.
We take the time and make the effort to take good care of ourselves. If budgets allow, we get massages and pedicures. If not, at least we know how to turn down the noise and take a long, fragrant bath.
We've learned how to accept, style and work with our hair, to its best advantage. No more straightenings for me, or setting my hair on juice cans.
We are not so self-conscious in our clothes as we once were. We get dressed, have a good look in the mirror, add or subtract a piece and go about our day. Because . . .
We know what works!

For example, I did a mini closet clean-out last night. I just focused on my work skirts and blouses/tops. I tried most of them on to see if I still said "Oh, yeah!" when I looked in the mirror. "Do I still love this?" and "Do I want to wear this right away?" The Yes pieces got put back in the closet

There were a few easy No's - that just don't fit right anymore, or are too scratchy/pilly. Then there are the very nice pieces that I haven't worn in a long time. The nice black wool Banana Republic blazer. It's in perfect condition, and it's my size. But it's double-breasted and has shoulder pads, and it's just too masculine for me. That's why I haven't worn it, duh! So to consignment it is going.

Beautiful, but it doesn't fit my style (this one's a Donna Karan).

This soft Banana Republic cardigan suits my look perfectly.

This Theory cardigan is also my style (but not my budget, sadly).

I have learned/am learning my own style so that it's easier to say No, whether at the store or in my closet, to pieces that are not Truly Me. That's the beauty of experience.

What do you think? Has aging helped make you more beautiful, by giving you that extra boost of wardrobe confidence? Or are you thinking: shut up, Patti, I'll take 29 and inexperienced any day? : >

Posting Redux: Beauty/Style: What's Gotten Better With Age?

2011-11-24T16:17:00.000-05:00

Happiest Thanksgiving to you (and happy day in general all of to you non-US readers)! It's a fairly busy holiday, so I am re-running an old post that my readers seemed to enjoy: What's actually better about getting older, other than the obvious Wisdom, Grace, and Overall Fabulousness? : >

------------------------------------

I'm inspired today by a post I read on NaturallyCurly.com about the physical aspects of aging. The question was posed: What do we like better about our physical selves as we age? Well, several posters piped right up with: nothing! And there are days when I definitely echo that sentiment. Some mornings, my face looks a bit saggy, eyes crinkled, silver showing at the roots of my hair.

By aging, I'm not talking about that lovely transition from college girl to working woman/mother: those physical changes in our 20's and 30's give our face its form, smooth out our awkwardness and calm down our skin. Those are the decades when we learn how to apply makeup artfully, tame and twist our hair, and build a flattering wardrobe.

The beauty and style changes that emerge after age 40 have not been given as much positive press. Let's try to wring some out here! I'll start, and I will try to maintain my sense of humor:

My posture is definitely better as a result of yoga and stretching.
I can afford a pedicure and sometimes my toes look great.
My silver hairs have a lot of body, so my 'do looks more bountiful.
I know my best colors much better and am not too easily led astray.
I've developed a blissful relationship with my hair stylist, who understands curly hair!
I don't choose to, but I could wear a Chanel suit and not look silly.
My eyelashes are longer, thanks to generic Latisse.
I never stay out all night anymore, so very few dark under-eye circles.
Deep rose lipstick looks good on a mature face!

A smile and confidence are always in style.
Photo courtesy of BlitheandBlonde

Please let me know what you think: what's gotten better for you, style and beauty wise? Younger readers, what do you hope/expect to keep getting better?

How To Give Your Outfit a "Little Lift"

2011-11-22T11:49:00.001-05:00

I've been reading and enjoying a "vintage" fashion/style book, Looking, Working, Living Terrific 24 Hours a Day (mouthful!) by Emily Cho. It was recommended by the fabulous Steph of The Dashing Eccentric. It is dated in some of the specific fashion advice -- lots of bow-tie blouses, e.g. -- but it offers a lot of time-tested style tips.

I especially enjoyed Ms. Cho's list of "Little Lifts" for your wardrobe. Here are some of them I would definitely use, and recommend to my readers:

Button the last couple buttons of your cardigan, and blouse it over a belt. OK, not rocket-science, but it does give me an additional way to style a cardi, more like a soft jacket.

A cardi can look like a blouse, or add a belt, and it's a
soft jacket

Twist two contrasting scarves together before tying them around your neck. I keep wanting to try this, and forgetting to do so on busy mornings. It sounds like fun, and no sewing required!
Fold over the top of your boots for a new look. I hadn't though of this, but I have a couple of soft pair that this might work with.
A fabric flower in leather or silk is a nice touch. Indeed. I love the idea of a leather flower for Fall/Winter. Always-stylish Kasmira of What I Wore Today has a cool leather flower cuff that I admire.

Leather flower pin, so cute

If you can't figure out the right shoe to wear with a skirt, boots work best. So true. Boots make most any outfit more modern and chic.

Keeping with the keep-it-simple, make-it-fun theme, I'd add these little lifts:

Colored tights, or even gray or textured black, will make most any look more interesting.
A bold cuff bracelet is a fun touch, even if you're not a big accessory-lover.
Mix a winter pattern skirt (hounds-tooth, checks, pinstripes) with a floral blouse or sweater if you're feeling a bit bolder. I just started doing this since I created my blog, and it's too much fun to stop.

Mix moods, if you feel like it. Wear a floaty skirt with a chunky sweater and add boots. We don't have to be matchy anymore, yay!

I know you have some little lifts you're using this season to make dressing more fun. Please share in the comments!

The very kind people at Karina Dresses featured me yesterday in their blog, The Karina Chronicles. Thanks, Karina people! Love your dresses.

Visible Monday #22: Showing Some Curves

2011-11-20T17:10:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #22! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I have three general rules for age appropriate dressing (rules for me, not for you): nothing too short, too tight or too low cut. I don't feel comfortable showing a lot of leg or chest. And I don't often wear figure-hugging sweaters to the office, but I bent my rules for this cute little sweater.

This is a Nanette Lepore top, so pretty in muted teal and with crochet accents at the neck, sleeves and hem. I bought it at a resale shop in NYC. It suits my feminine vibe, but I balanced that with a simple knit maxi skirt by GAP and chunky boots. I added a little ivory blazer when seeing clients.

How do you feel about showing some curves?And oh yes, please show us what you're wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Feminist Icon Breaks Fashion Rules, Beautifully!

2011-11-19T10:30:00.001-05:00

I've loved Gloria Steinem since I was a little baby feminist. Very shallow as a teen, I just wanted to look like her. Then later, I started listening to and reading her ideas.They helped shape my own idea of what kind of woman I wanted to be.

She has aged so gracefully. Married late in life, then widowed so quickly, she still is out there, showing us what a strong woman can look and sound like.

This fashion tidbit just tickled me: At the recent gala for Glamour Magazine's Women of the Year, where she was one of the honorees, Ms. Steinem garnered many compliments for her simple yet stunning outfit. When asked about it, she replied "I'm wearing exercise pants." Hee! It looks like they may well be, but she's carried off the look beautifully.

Keep going, Gloria. Age 77, and so Not Dead Yet!

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday November 21st is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: It's a Wrap

2011-11-17T19:03:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't love the iconic wrap dress? It flatters nearly every woman, it's easy to wear, accessorize, and winterize, if you need to!

At first I turned down this (no-label-intact) dress because it has pointy lapels. I don't like pointy lapels. But my fellow bloggers are so crafty and creative, I just asked myself: WWCFBD? (What Would Crafty Fellow Bloggers Do?) I turned the collar to the inside, didn't even need to cut or stitch, and now the dress has the clean neckline I like.

I really appreciate the herringbone print and the slinky fabric. It looks close enough to the classic Diane von Furstenberg 70's dress that I'm considering it a cousin. I added pale grey leggings and black booties for Fall. I think I like my thrifty find now! (Total cost of dress = $3.00).

Thrifted dress: no label; Booties: Sofft; Earrings: handmade by a friend

A timeless original, worn by the designer, 1976.

Are you a fan of the wrap? Did/do you own an original DVF?

Bloom Where You're Planted

2011-11-16T07:00:00.003-05:00

I am coming down off my NYC high. Back to work, grocery shopping, chores and small-town life. I am going to go back to the city soon, and still plan to live there part-time. But for now, I will bloom where I am planted.

I think one of the keys to inner contentment is not wanting to do/be somewhere/something other than what you are. My former therapist told me: "Don't be married and wishing you were single, or vice versa," (although the former is more complicated than the latter). A great example of blooming where planted.

So I am not going to live day-to-day in Smalltown wishing I were elsewhere. Life's too short and precious for that! There is a lot of joy to be found here, including a job I love and a very dear sister. The beach is four blocks away and my husband loves to surf. We have a couple of pubs we call our "locals" where the barkeeps are friendly and the drinks are ~~cheap~~ reasonable. Parking spaces are abundant.

And -- we have thrift and resale stores too. OK, nothing like Beacon's Closet or Buffalo Exchange, and no fabulous vintage Flea Markets. But some good finds for the faithful shoppers. Yesterday I found a nearly-new Tahari pantsuit. Black with a fine chalk-stripe, fully lined and marked at $8.00 -- but reduced by 50%! I don't wear trousers that often, but just a great-looking jacket for $4 puts a smile on my thrifty face.

Tahari by Arthur S Levine suit- mine's similar to this one, but more pin-stripey, and the jacket's a touch shorter.

In what ways do you enjoy and make the most of your surroundings? What do you love about where you are planted?

Winner! In the Karina Dress Giveaway! An Over-40 Style Warrior

2011-11-15T15:25:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to Anne, of The Frump Factor, who is the winner of the Karina Dress giveaway! Many of you already follow Anne's terrific blog and enjoy her witty take on style and other issues of import to us over-40 women.

Here's Anne of The Frump Factor - no frump in sight

I think Anne is going to be a natural for the ease and comfortable chic of a Karina dress. She's mentioned that she liked the Adrienne, but we shall see what her final selection will be -- she hints she may show it off in a future Visible Monday.

Yes, this Adrienne dress is a winner

If you haven't yet shopped at Karina Dresses, please do have a look. The pieces are so comfortable, easy to wear and style, and are made right here in the US. I had the privilege to tour their facility in Brooklyn, and it's a very cheerful, positive place that creates jobs for local folks.

And my readers can use a special discount if you order any full price dress:

$30 Off Any Full Price Dress - GIBP30

Use your discount code at:
http://karinadresses.myshopify.com/collections/all

Congratulations, Anne!

Visible Monday #21: A Vintage Louis Vuitton Blouse

2011-11-13T16:52:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #21! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I was so tickled to find this vintage Louis Vuitton blouse at a re-sale shop in the East Village during my NYC vacation. It is really not a spectacular, show-stopping blouse, but I love the subtle paisley print and sophisticated colors. I think I can wear it a lot of different ways.

I reminds me of another designer, Yves Saint Laurent, in his rich hippie/boho period, so I paired it with western style pale boots and a full skirt. I think I've got a 70's vibe going, but I could be a decade off! The Diesel belt was also a NYC thrift find, for a very frugal $9.

Old Navy skirt, Gianni Bini boots, and somewhat unruly hair today : >

The blouse reminds me of this YSL 1970's look

Now let's see what you're wearing this Visible Monday!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

How The City Changed Me; Visible Monday Reminder!

2011-11-12T09:17:00.001-05:00

No secret, I have loved the big city for decades. I worked in Boston and Washington D.C. for many years and was always energized by the concrete canyons, the stream of people, and the buzz of business. No place compares in my mind to New York City. I had the great privilege to spend two weeks there, borrowing a real-life city apartment and living as much as I could like a real New Yorker.

Hello, Beautiful!

Every experience has the potential to change us. I am open to letting the city life change some old stuffy ways of thinking, acting, dressing/shopping, and relating. Change is often necessary to get un-stuck and get back to the good stuff again.

Here is how I believe the city is working on me:

Carpe diem, baby. Those two weeks flew by and I was strapped into a plane returning to Florida before I could breathe out. I have to savor my moments, stop obsessing about what's next. This cup of coffee, in this chair, right now, is mighty fine.
Don't save your good stuff for some future occasion. People in New York look snappily dressed (many of them anyway) on a daily basis. I took some of my favorite clothes with me - why not make all my clothes my favorite clothes and dress like I'm in NYC? Life's too short for just-OK clothing.

My husband, as The World's Most Interesting Man.
Always wear your finest. And stay thirsty, my friends.

Be a little good to yourself. I am a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to spending money on me. In NYC I got two wonderful manicures. I treated myself to a gorgeous (pre-owned) Louis Vuitton blouse, and it made me feel great. I got the good wine. I struggle with feeling selfish, but I am responsible with money and it really is OK to have some treats. Tomorrow = manicure!
I like a simpler look with fewer, rather than more accessories. I only took a few bracelets, two necklaces, and three pairs of earrings. I didn't even wear them all. My fuzzy hair counts as one big accessory, and I'm very comfortable with just my wedding ring, watch, and one other piece. Which leaves a little more in the budget for:
Good shoes and boots. I saw these all over the city and in re-sale shops. I fell in love again with fine, soft leather and now I am doing inventory on all my footwear. Only the best are staying. Comfortable and beautiful is my new shoe mantra.
I am a political animal. I've worked on several Congressional campaigns, but had recently moved on from that chapter in my life. Being in the city re-energized me and I have some ideas about how I want to direct my political energy next. Not Dead Yet. : >

She still inspires me.

I would love to hear about how vacations, sabbaticals, work or school-related travels have changed your ways of thinking. Please share!

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday November 14th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Courtesy of Blogger Friend Sheila!

2011-11-10T19:25:00.000-05:00

Today I am delighted to wear a treat - a gift from the so-fashionable Sheila of Ephemera! Sheila sponsored a contest around her birthday last month: she challenged us to choose outfits from her closet for her to wear, and she'd select a gift for us in return. How crazy generous is that?! Reverse-birthday, I'd call it.

I chose her Periodic Table of Elements skirt and she wore it. She declared me one of the winners and sent me this gorgeous Kenzie silk skirt and a similarly splendid Ann Taylor silk blouse (to be seen in the near future.) I am totally awed and delighted. Sheila discerned my taste to a tee.

I added an Ann Taylor Loft blouse, thrifted a while ago, and Gianni Bini caramel boots. A woman stopped me in the grocery store tonight just to say "I love your outfit!" Aww, thanks Sheila.

Do You Wear White in Winter? I Do!

2011-11-08T22:08:00.000-05:00

Among the old rules we women of a certain age have trash-canned is "no white after Labor Day". White in Fall/Winter looks so elegant, so pulled together and yes, so warm. It's all about the fabric, I think. White eyelet lace/chiffon/seersucker doesn't feel quite right to me for winter daywear.

A rich white or ivory knit sweater -- cashmere, wool or synthetic blend -- looks very appropriate all winter, and with any skirt or trouser. I have several lightweight ivory sweaters (lightweight because our winters hover around 65 degrees!). I wear the heck out of them, and just picked up another today at the consignment store around the corner.

Gotta have some of these

I don't own, but would love, a white/ivory knee-length skirt. This should probably be a nice fine-wale corduroy, or heavy cotton knit, so I could wash it. I couldn't find one easily on-line tonight but I'll bet I could with a little effort in real life! What do you think about this (very high-end) wool version?:

Out of my price range, but very sassy. By Mulberry

I waver on the footwear. Are ivory shoes/boots ever okay? I just passed on a great-looking pair of mid-calf leather boots in NYC: nice shape, soft, soft leather, mid stacked heel -- but the color looked too glaring. Like, "look at my hooves!" What say you? Would you buy these?:

A Western white

A funkier snow-queen ivory boot

Let's keep breaking and re-making the rules, and have fun doing it. We are Not Dead Yet.

Visible Monday #20: Stepping Out in Stripes

2011-11-06T17:10:00.003-05:00

I can't believe we are at week #20 already! If you want to participate, just scroll down to the bottom for the easy how-to's. Everyone is welcome.

Today is my last day in New York. Sob! It has been such a rich, lively and joyful visit. The time flew as it always does when we are doing what we love. (Note to self: pay attention to the passing of every moment!). The passion, pace, diversity and energy of the city are now imprinted on me more than ever, and I'm bringing that energy home.

Here is a casual-but-dressy-enough outfit for our last day: a trip to Midtown for lunch, and a walk around 5th Ave. We were fortunate to watch some of the NYC Marathoners race by the windows while we enjoyed a hot coffee. I chose a simple black knit skirt and a striped top, which I bought at Buffalo Exchange here. My trusty Aldo boots are getting a workout. That's my new Cole Haan bag that I also picked up at a thrift in the East Village.

I thrifted the gold cuff too, at Beacon's Closet.

The sweet kitty is Cleo, who came with the apartment. She's a perfect cat.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to "live" here for two weeks and to soak up the beauty of New York City. I'll write more next week about the new ideas that are percolating in my brain as a result of this trip!

But now, let's see what you're wearing on this Visible Monday:

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

Some Fashion Lessons from the Big City; Visible Monday Reminder!

2011-11-05T10:57:00.000-04:00

What a two-week fashion study I have had the privilege to enjoy! In addition to the superb arts and culture, the delicious dining and awe-inspiring sights (see below), I've had the opportunity to observe the women and men of one of the most fashionable cities in the world.

The dress code varies by neighborhood, to be sure. Lots of dark, sleek suits in the Financial District, and hoodies/tights abound in the East Village. But I have put together some general observations that I want to share, and take home with me to my little 'burb. I want to use these to tweak and refine my own look too, because fashion is all about change, right? And we're Not Dead Yet.

As the wise and wonderful Pam wrote a little while ago, simple is good. There are a lot of simple, clean lines and refined silhouettes in the city. That's partly a function of the season of course; I didn't have the chance to see too many pretty dresses under the trim black coats! But the slim lines and solid colors are very appealing to my eyes.
You just can't have enough boots for Fall/Winter. I thought I'd see higher heels, but the vast majority are flats, wedges, or short (2" max) heels, in all kinds of yummy designs.
Scarves! A saw one billion gorgeous scarves. OK, ten thousand. This inspires me to up my game on the quality of scarves I own. A richly colored scarf -- doesn't have to be cashmere, there are some wonderful rayons -- lifts a Fall/Winter look immeasurably.
Carry a great looking bag. In a big city, a big bag is essential. In my little city, it's not, but they sure do look good! Again, my eyes went for the sleek, simple rich-looking bags. I can find these back in Florida in consignment shops for affordable prices.
Even in the biggest city, you don't have to spend a fortune to up your game. There are so many thrifts and resale shops. Trade in sweats for a crisp pair of dark denims, white trainers for some ankle boots, add a thrifted scarf, and you've got a chic look.
Posture counts! Walk tall, head high, have a purpose and feel visible. Something I do that many New Yorkers do not, is smile. I can't help it, I'm a happy woman!

What a breathtaking piece of architecture - the Brooklyn Bridge

It was cold and windy - can you tell? Fashion took a back seat to warmth.

Do you have any other tips to make your look more sophisticated, if you have the desire to? Share, please!

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday November 7th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

A Day Trip to Brooklyn, and Meeting New Fashionable Friends

2011-11-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

What a wonderful Thursday. First, the requisite weather report: high of 60, sunny and mild. Perfect for walking and discovering. I wore a comfortable Karen Kane dress and Aldo black boots.

We ventured out of Manhattan for the first time this trip. Brooklyn is cool! I finally got to shop at Beacon's Closet vintage/resale store. Oh my, ladies and gentlemen - I was in shopping paradise. Racks and racks and more of lovely vintage and lightly-used clothing, by "better" brands, at very fair prices (not rock-bottom thrift prices, but reasonable).

This is just a fraction of the delights!

I bought just a couple of things: an absolutely gorgeous, light-as-air Louis Vuitton blouse for $29, and a chunky Diesel leather belt for $9. I'll show them off when I get home. I tried on a very covetable 1940's vintage wool tweed pencil skirt that was just a tiny bit too tight (sad!). I could have spent hours and much more $$$ there. Probably will in the future.

Next stop was a visit with the so-marvelous, actual real-life Karina, of Karina dresses! And her partner, the delightful Garnet. I will write and share more pics/details of their operation very soon, but let me tease you with this: they are so kind, enthusiastic, and devoted to their customers. I am more won over than ever by this brand, and plan to invest further in their designs. Oh, and they have two shop cats and an incomparable shop doggie, Brodie, all of whom add to the warm, family atmosphere of this company. I heart them.

That's Karina on the right, her gorgeous assistant Hillary on the left, and Bodie, beloved canine.

The evening was spent at a true old NYC bar, Rudy's. We met up with a group called Drinking Liberally. They meet every week to share a beer and some friendly political talk. Great fun, and some new friends were made. Hope you all are having a terrific Friday!

People Watching and Green-Marketing in Union Square

2011-11-02T16:33:00.000-04:00

It's another gorgeous Autumn day in the city, lots of sun and cool temps. I took advantage of it to stroll the famous Union Square Greenmarket.

It's a wonderland for food-lovers. The stalls are packed with fresh fruits and vegetables, and wonderful baked goods (I was drawn to the latter, naturally). I had never seen Brussels sprouts in their native state.

All the lavender you could hope for, right in the middle of the city.

It's a health-food cookie.

The people-watching in Union Square is glorious. So many attractive women and men in their business wardrobes, grabbing a lunch on-the-go. Lots of mothers with strollers, and a few fathers too. Older people checking out the produce with a careful eye. Just a fun, lively, green place in the middle of a huge city.

I'm wearing a thrifted leopard tee, thrifted skirt, Lucky bag and no-name boots.

After the Market, I did more East Village thrifting. I returned as promised to No Relation vintage shop, where I snagged a yummy Cole Haan leather purse for $20. It looks almost unused, so, happy shopper! I went to a second Buffalo Exchange store and picked up some casual tees. Then a New York style manicure: fast and efficient, but perfectly done, for $10 plus tip!

Buffalo Exchange in the East Village - big fun.

Tonight we're planning to go to a book signing by comedian Lewis Black. Have I mentioned I love this city? Will it take a lot of prying and crying to get me on the plane next Monday?? Oh yes.

Happy Wednesday to you all.

Lady Liberty, Always in Style

2011-11-01T08:15:00.000-04:00

Today was simply beautiful! Mid 50's and mostly sunny, and all the snow is gone.

We took advantage of the beauty and traveled on the Staten Island Ferry. It's free! and it's the best view of the Statue of Liberty you can get, short of the paid tours. I admit, I got choked up as I saw the majestic statue and thought about my own great-grandparents. They came from Italy and Ireland in the early 1900's, with no money or connections. They were "processed" through Ellis Island and set out to make new, better lives. I am so grateful to them for their courage.

Later we walked through Soho, and window-shopped. You know my heart leaped at the sight of a Designer Resale Shop. But alas, my friends, is was not to be for me: the least expensive items were silk scarves for $125. Some purses were $900 and up. Not my usual resale comfort zone!

Beautiful things, but too pricey for me

I did have a chance to chat up a friendly statue outside a jewelry store. That's the vintage velvet maxi skirt I bought in the East Village last week - I can't seem to stop wearing it. Do you ever get OCD with clothing that way?

His colors go with my colors . . .

Tonight is Halloween. I admit I had a bit of anxiety about the annual Village Halloween parade, which passes right outside our apartment. About 40,000 people participate! I found a cozy pub and enjoyed the parade the way middle-aged people do -- from a safe distance : >

Happy Halloween!

Visible Monday #19: Being Seen In The City

2011-10-30T17:15:00.002-04:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #19! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

Broadcasting from the heart of the West Village for this Visible Monday (I am such a place-name-dropper, I can't abide myself).

I really do feel more visible on this trip than I did on our last, in June, when I first wrote about the Invisible Woman. Writing these Monday posts, and reading those of my blogger friends has increased my confidence about being a Woman of a Certain Age. Thank you!

Proof: Yesterday I was walking around the East Village near NYU, and a whole cloud of students was filling the sidewalk. I overheard snatches of delightful student-ish conversations: "I think it's going to be multiple choice."; "I haven't even started yet!"; et al.

Right behind me were a young woman and man, play-arguing about an upcoming competition of some sort -- academic, athletic, artistic, I couldn't tell. They each were saying, "I am going to do so much better than you!" and laughing. As they passed, I looked at the girl and smiled and said, "You're going to do so much better." She squealed, and he laughed, and just for that moment, being an Older Woman was so sweet. And Visible.

Here's a look for today: nothing very dramatic, just some comfortable city garb for going out to brunch, then the Chelsea Flea Market, then a walk through Central Park (if I am not frozen by then -- high of 44 today). The sweater is from GAP. The skirt was thrifted here this week, a vintage 80's midi. The Limited belt also thrifted here, and good old Aldo boots I bought last winter. I had to give up my curls for today, because of hat-hair and cold, dry air!

That's my faux-fur scarf I bought in the East Village vintage store this week. Very cozy.

Here we enjoyed apple cinnamon pecan pancakes, and scrambled eggs with ricotta cheese.

Now, please show us what you're wearing today!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

An Abundance of Treasures

2011-10-29T11:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a serious shopping day. I scoured the East Village for vintage and thrift finds and had a marvelous time. (Many thanks to my incomparable hair stylist Joy for the shopping tips). Of course, the people watching is equally fabulous.

At this little shop, all the clothing is downstairs. It's a great mix of vintage and regular thrift. I chatted up a very nice salesperson, who was interested in what over-40 women blog about! He helped me find a divine maxi skirt - deep blue velvet wrap-around with an embroidered waistband. True to my new form, I wore it out of there and donated my black Banana Republic skirt.

Downstairs at The Cure

Not on my list, but I stumbled upon East Village Thrift. Score! Superb stock and real thrift prices. I had to restrain myself due to carrying limitations, but I'll be back. I bought a scarf and a beanie hat, and a gorgeous silk Anthropologie blouse ($8). You'll see that when I am back in warmer weather.

An unplanned stop, but well worth it!

Another treasure trove is No Relation Vintage. They had a huge stock of faux and real fur coats for $20 - $75. And with temps expected to hit 32 degrees tonight (and snow!), I was tempted. I bought a cozy faux fur scarf instead. But I am going back -- they have lots of high-end bags for $40 - $50. Kooba, Michael Kors, Coach and more.

Wish you all were here!

Later today (in addition to sleet and freezing rain): a vocal performance at NYU for $5. This is a great city.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday October 31st is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

Feeling Thrifty in the City

2011-10-27T17:58:00.000-04:00

Rain! I love to walk in the city but it was more challenging today. I did make it to the Daphne Guiness exhibit at the Fashion Institute of Technology. Their Museum is open and free to the public.

What a stunning collection of clothing! Her favorite designers appear to have been Alexander McQueen and Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel, with quite a bit of Alaia and Dolce and Gabbana besides. And she must be a tiny little woman, as the dresses look fit for about a 22" waist. The fabrics and designs are so rich and sumptuous: feathers, fur, sequins, rhinestones, lots of silk satin. I wanted to touch them all, but I could feel the eyes of the security guard on me like hot lasers.

Image via Styloko

I was dressed for comfort and walking, and in lots of black - my NYC uniform. The long black skirt is from Banana Republic, thrifted, and the sweater is from the 15 Dollar Store. Yes! Don't ask the price, it's $15. The shoes are also thrifted. The inside says "Walking Co.", but I couldn't find anything about them. They are nice, heavy leather and great for urban hiking.

I visited the Chelsea Buffalo Exchange, a resale shop that leans toward younger tastes and newer clothing than a traditional thrift. The prices are a little higher too, but I found a nearly-new gray Eileen Fisher sheath dress, fits like perfection, for $30. So I was a happy shopper.

I thought about so many of you who would also enjoy this store!

Today is our tenth wedding anniversary! So we are going out to a romantic little Italian bistro for dinner. I married my dream guy - once I got that right, a lot of life got easier.

A Couple of New York Scenes

2011-10-27T10:31:00.001-04:00

Our first day out and about was not a fashion-y day, as you can see by my attire. We ran errands, then headed downtown to the World Trade Center Memorial. It is a beautiful place, somber and evocative. I experienced a flood of sadness, rage, pride and thankfulness for the courage of the responders and so many others.

We walked over to Zuccotti Park where the Occupy Wall Street protesters are camped. Whatever your political beliefs, it is a reminder that we have the right to peacefully protest -- thanks Founding Fathers! And so many countries do not permit the same.

I loved this poster, juxtaposed with the brooms. It means so much to me, as a woman whose mother's generation was expected to be homemakers above all.

My humble walking outfit for the day. Just my most comfortable Nike's, skinny jeans, requisite black tee and scarf. That's the Fossil purse I later traded in at the thrift store!

It's raining today, so I am hoping to make it to the FIT Daphne Guinness exhibit, then hide out at the Barnes and Noble/Union Square, with a half-gallon of coffee and the Steve Jobs biography. Life is good. Have a happy Thursday.

A Blogger On The Lam!

2011-10-26T17:28:00.000-04:00

Scenes from the 'hood

I haven't posted since Sunday because we are away on our fabulous two-week New York City vacation! We arrived on Tuesday to our sub-let apartment in the West Village. It is so much fun having our own crash-pad, rather than a hotel. Now we can make tea, snuggle up to the computers, and feel at home.

The very bad blogging new is I forgot to bring my camera cable. So all the cool shots I took today are still smugly in the camera, refusing to jump over to the computer. We're going to buy a cable at Radio Shack tomorrow and remedy the situation.

As you probably know, there is fashion for everyone here! Here near NYU, I saw cool hipsters in leggings and sweatshirts, with tall Doc Martens. Downtown near Wall Street the change was gradual - to dark suits and sleek shoes/boots. Lots of great scarves, hair and makeup.

I even had time for a bit of thrifting today and picked up a very nice Morris Moskowitz vintage leather bag. I traded in my Fossil bag that I was carrying, plus a couple of dollars. I love dealing and trading with New Yorkers -- all things are possible.

Hope to have some pics up soon. Happy Wednesday!

Visible Monday #18: A Karina Dress Giveaway For You

2011-10-23T17:19:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #18! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

As a relatively new (if not young) blogger, I was delighted to hear from Karina Dresses, asking me to review one of their designs. In an unusual turn of form, I actually spoke on the telephone with one of the owners -- for 45 minutes! -- and we talked at length about the company's history and philosophy.

Karina is a small business right now, but they have stores around the country and the world . They do all their design and manufacturing in Brooklyn ("Made With Love in Brooklyn" is one of their mottos). They provide jobs to local people, and make quality garments. This is not fast, disposable fashion. I felt, after talking to them, that they want to combine a business plan with an artistic and ethical foundation.

So I am tickled to be a Brand Ambassador (I've needed a diplomatic title) for Karina, and to show off the "Megan" dress they sent me to review, and to keep.

Those of you who have been reading my blog (thank you!) know I am starting to accumulate more dresses. I'm finding them a simple, visible, morning choice. This dress is easy as can be on a hectic morning. It slips over my head, no zippers or buttons, fits like a dream and swirls around me all day. Love that feeling! The length and coverage are perfection for a Woman of a Certain Age.

My new dress paired with my Calvin Klein sparkly cardigan.

Shoes are by Aerosoles - peep-toe platforms in a cool vintage 40's style.
Thrifted for under $8

The new dress made me feel like dancing . . . awkward but true.

Karina asked me to share some important facts about their designs:

The dresses are made from imported microfiber blend fabric with four-way stretch. They are machine washable and ideal for travel (love that).
Every dress is made in a limited edition print, produced in their Brooklyn facility.
"Made in the USA" means sparing the environment the gas, oil and diesel that is burned to transport most of our clothes.
Some of their styles fit up to a traditional size 20, and are designed for all figure types and all ages (yippee!).

Giveaway Giveaway Giveaway Giveaway

Great fun! Karina dresses is sponsoring a giveaway. One of my readers will win a Karina dress of her choice! And you have got to see all the beautiful designs they offer.

To enter, all you have to do is:

Go to Facebook and "Like" Karina Dresses, and
Leave a Comment below with your email address (I need a valid email addy so I can notify you if you are the winner.)
Visit the Karina Dresses website, look at the various styles, and pick a favorite. (Karina Dresses are made of limited edition fabrics, so not all patterns/colors are available at any given moment. They'll do their best to match your preferences, but need you to be flexible about pattern/color limitations.)
If you leave a comment on the Karina Dresses Facebook page, you'll get an additional entry in the drawing.
The contest is open to all readers, but those who are outside the U.S. may be required to pay postage/shipping if you win. The winner will be selected by drawing and announced on or about November 14th.

And even if you don't win, here is a $30 discount code for any full price dress:

$30 Off Any Full Price Dress - GIBP30

You can use this discount code at any store that carries the line:
http://karinadresses.com/stores

Or use your discount code online at:
http://karinadresses.myshopify.com/collections/all

Good luck! And if you decide to purchase a Karina dress, I think you will love it.

And now, please show us what you're wearing on Visible Monday!

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

In Which Einstein Expounds on Style

2011-10-22T12:39:00.000-04:00

I have had a persistent fantasy that Albert Einstein was my secret father. He died the month before I was born, and we have similar hair. OK, those may be the only clues, but I have always admired his unmatched scientific genius as well as his passionate love of peace. (He wasn't known to be a very good husband, but I don't think about him that way).

His insightful quotes about the meaning of life, the universe and everything, include a few that can be interpreted in the lexicon of fashion and style! For example:

Everything should be as simple as it is, but not simpler. This speaks to my love of minimalism but not starkness in dress. I love simple lines, rich fabrics, and muted colors.
A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. We have got to experiment with our style, take chances, or we will stagnate. I don't want to look like the 1980's version of me, in my navy suit and pantyhose. A few rare women can maintain the same style throughout life (Coco Chanel) but most of us need to risk making some "mistakes" and spreading our fashion wings.
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. This made me think about Paula of Fashion Over 50. She's an artist who draws her art into her clothing choices. So wonderful to be able to "see" an outfit in our mind and then make it happen.
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. This one is not about fashion, but I snuck it in because I love it.

Visible Monday Link-Up Reminder: Monday October 24th is Visible Monday, a group posting for anyone who'd like to participate. The simple guidelines are here. Basically, just post something that makes you feel wonderful/visible, and link to it via my Monday post. Easy and fun.

What I Wore: Business (Quite) Casual

2011-10-20T19:13:00.001-04:00

I work in a professional but casual environment, a community mental health center. What we do is professional, but there are no strict dress codes. Some of us wear scrubs, some wear jeans, and a rare few of the men will wear a tie now and then. This is the sartorial culture of our field.

So I enjoy playing with my wardrobe within wide parameters. My strict rules for myself are: nothing too tight, too short, too low cut or too sparkly. Nothing, in other words, that would distract from the business at hand or call unwanted attention to myself. But after those rules, lots of options remain.

I can wear any sort of trouser, skirt or dress in any of my favorite colors or prints. Sweaters and knits, button-downs, even dressy tees are fine. A blazer, cardigan or poncho for a topper. Heels, flats, boots, oxfords – all are welcome. I am really, truly fortunate to have this stylistic freedom!

This is a fairly casual, but still appropriate outfit for my office.
Lucky me!

I love this old pin.

Today’s look is pretty far to the casual side for me. The shirt is an all cotton, western style snap-front. It’s in my favorite olive green color that matches my eyes (Pam wrote about this today). The Kasper skirt was just thrifted this week for under a dollar, new with tags, woo-hoo! I had to make a little cut at the waistband for it to fit comfortably, but who is going to know??

The pin is about ten years old; I think it’s from Banana Republic. Hey, pins don’t go out of style or shrink in the wash. I’ve got my new favorite peacock bracelet and my comfortable Gianni Bini caramel boots. I feel great, just dressed-up enough to go to work, and creative enough to express myself.

I’d love to hear about your work dress codes, if you have them, and how you work around/through them. If you’re retired or work at home, did you have a dress code at one time? Are you happy to be done with it?

Creating An Outfit From a Bit of Jewelry!

2011-10-18T14:08:00.002-04:00

The awesome Sheila from Ephemera just mentioned that she crafted an outfit starting with just a brooch! Now that is creativity and style-smarts. So today I was wondering what I could do if I started designing from just a colorful necklace, for example:


Start with this lovely Anthropologie necklace

The colors and simple design of the necklace inspired me to reach into my (imaginary) closet for rich fall colors (like the ones Pam is writing about this week). I love red, purple and deep yellow together, and I think all these pieces play together nicely.

Inspired pieces

I could add any of these pieces to my Fall/Winter wardrobe because they all suit my style, if not my immediate budget. Shoes and bag, for sure -- get right over here into my closet.

The Vivienne Files did a fabulous, more extensive example of building an entire wardrobe from a single elegant scarf. Check here for the results, amazing!

This is so much fun. Have you ever started your daily outfit with a piece of jewelry or scarf? Share, please!

Visible Monday #17: Red Hot

2011-10-16T17:10:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Visible Monday #17! If you want to participate, it's so easy: just go to the bottom of this post for the simple how-to.

I recently saw Audi of Fashion for Nerds in a long red pleated skirt, and (of course) she looked fabulous. I had already picked up this midi-length skirt, and Audi's post inspired me to try it out. It's by DKNY and very nicely made. It's a layer of poly chiffon over a layer of something silky, and it has a real leather sewn-in waistband (barely seen here).

I wore a simple boat-neck top with three-quarter sleeves, my very favorite sleeve length for any time of year. This top is by Panache (vintage) and it's 100% cotton in a very nubby, sheer weave. It's boxy but I like it. The new favorite Sofft booties are making yet another appearance! I did say I wear my favorite shoes to the nubs.

You can barely see the black leather waistband. It's so cool.

No, I don't sleep in these shoes. Almost, though.

Now, let's see what you're wearing today! The link-up is open through Wednesday morning.

The guidelines to participate in the Visible Monday Link-Up are so simple!

Any Monday, whoever wants to can join in! Just compose a post that includes any outfit, accessory, piece of jewelry, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment that makes you feel more confident, alive and visible that day.
Include a link to Not Dead Yet Style somewhere in your post.
Go to the bottom of this post and click on this cute little link:

In the "Next Step", you crop the pic (easy tool) you want to display, and you're done!

I Took The One Less Traveled By . . .

2011-10-13T19:33:00.001-04:00

Image via ChristineMccoy.blogspot.com

I think it’s wonderful, the way we mid-life women have learned to own and express our opinions. Even in the realm of fashion/style, we don’t want to be sheep and follow other people’s rules.

This Steve Jobs’ quote from a commencement speech in 2005 makes me so happy: “Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking.”

For many of us, this courage of conviction has come with age. I so admire the young bloggers who are confident and outspoken, and follow their own drummer. In my twenties I was a hard-working professional and no wallflower, but I was certainly a conformist. I was a “good girl” who followed The Rules and didn’t rock many boats, style or otherwise.

It was while reading the responses to my recent post about wardrobe essentials that this realization hit harder: we are not sheep, baby! So many of my over-40 readers commented that they liked the list just fine, but they don’t follow "lists" or "guidelines" strictly anymore. Hooray! Love that. Love you.

This confidence shows itself in many guises. Our internet service was recently blocked at work. I wrote the IT department and asked for access to be restored to my usual professional sites, but also to my blog, because it benefits me during my (unpaid) down time. I never would have asked such a thing 20 years ago – for fear of being “too unprofessional” or frivolous or just uncooperative. Now it felt right. And my blog access was restored.

What’s the worst that could happen if we express our opinions? We might get disagreed with, or even ridiculed or shunned. Disagreed with? It's the spice of life! And those latter two outcomes are 1) unlikely, and 2) non-fatal. When applied to fashion, the risks are truly negligible. (When applied to politics, they have gotten me shushed from the in-laws’ dining table on more than one occasion. But no one died.)

Thank you, fellow bloggers and readers, for sharing your opinions, for being proud of them, and for stepping onto the road less traveled. As Robert Frost wrote " . . . and that has made all the difference."